Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? #cr
In future,
crime
rates will decline due to
inventions
of modern Correct article usage
the inventions
technology
which has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
make
Change the form of the verb
made
easy
to detect and control Correct pronoun usage
it easy
of
violence.Change preposition
apply
This
essay completely agrees with the statement that upcoming generations will have less
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
crime
ratio because of futuristic technology
which will help more in capturing criminals and preventing them for crimes.
In today
world,Change noun form
today's
crime
are
on the trend but with advancement in Change the verb form
is
technology
it has become easier to detect crime
because science is progressing and it come
with great opportunities to push down the offender to offence .Change the verb form
comes
As a
useful equipment of advance time that has Correct word choice
A
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
the
felonies is surveillance cameras .Nowadays,they are installed globally Correct article usage
apply
this
is because it
help to catch criminals on the spot or after the actionCorrect pronoun usage
they
.to exaplain
Verb problem
.
whenever
Capitalize word
Whenever
offence
take place police look at the Correct article usage
an offence
cctv
footage .It Correct your spelling
CCTV
help
them to get Change the verb form
helps
a
image of Change the article
an
Correct article usage
the offencer
offencer
and Correct your spelling
offender
also
the place of victim
.Add an article
the victim
Thus
it assist
in solving and declining the crimes .
Change the verb form
assists
Furthermore
,another advantage of Advance
Replace the word
advanced
technology
is to preventing felonies that's is metal detectors for instance
metal detectors are found at the entrance of college
,schools ,airports,mosques hospitals and other public places they are designed for the sole purpose Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
to detect
people's carrying weapons like gun ,knife and explosives.They stop them Change preposition
of detecting
to do
major atrocity attacks.Change preposition
from doing
For
example
Add a comma
example,
territorist
go to various place to blow down bomb in Pakistan in the strike of imran khan police catch a person with Correct your spelling
terrorists
bomb
at first step they stop him at the door and Add an article
a bomb
the bomb
hence
this
help them for major lose
.
In conclusion ,Replace the word
loss
technology
has always come with its benificial
effect and with the growth of Correct your spelling
beneficial
world
and digital equipment.I strongly believe that it will definitely help society to stop or decrease Add an article
the world
offence
and help to prevent them .Fix the agreement mistake
offences
Submitted by asrakazmi447 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay structure lacks clarity and proper paragraphing, which is crucial for the reader to follow your argument. An IELTS essay typically has an introduction, two or three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and be clearly separated from the others.
Coherence & Cohesion
Many sentences are unnecessarily complex or lack appropriate punctuation, making them difficult to understand. Be sure to use clear and concise sentences, appropriate linking words, and organize your ideas logically.
Task Achievement
The essay does not fully develop ideas with relevant examples. While there are mentions of technology such as surveillance cameras and metal detectors, examples should be expanded upon to clearly show how these technologies contribute to crime reduction. Consider adding statistics or studies that support your arguments.
Task Achievement
The response partially addresses the task, with a clear opinion stated. However, the arguments are not fully developed. The ideas presented need to be elaborated on with more examples and explanations to provide a thorough response to the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar, especially subject-verb agreement ('crime are' should be 'crime is'), tense consistency, and precision in vocabulary. Avoid overly convoluted sentences and ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and accurately.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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