IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The Graph below gives instragram about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970to 2020 with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

The Graph below gives instragram about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970to 2020 with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
#instragram #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #prediction
The pair of maps indicates that the medical centre had changed between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2008 and 2010.
Overall
, it can be seen that the plan of
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 centre showed dramatic changes, especially doctors and
patients facility
Fix the agreement mistake
patient facilities
show examples
 have increased. In the first
map
, it can be seen that there was a main entrance south
side
 of the
map
 and
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 waiting
room
 exists for the patients.
Besides
, left
side
 of the waiting
room
 a laboratory
room
situated
Add a missing verb
is situated
show examples
.
A part
Correct your spelling
Apart
show examples
 from these rooms, there was a corridor, office
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
,
doctors
Correct word choice
and doctors
show examples
,
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 it
for went
Change preposition
to go
show examples
 to
doctors’
Correct article usage
the doctors’
show examples
 office and treatment
room
.
Further
, three doctors’
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 have
built
Add a missing verb
been built
show examples
 north
side
 of the
map
. In 2010, the medical centre looked more
facilited
Correct your spelling
facilitated
facilities
 for the patients. Doctors’ offices have increased. In north
eastern
Correct word choice
northeastern
show examples
 part of the
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 a store
room
added
Add a missing verb
was added
show examples
.
Similarly
, In the east
side
 and south
weasten
Correct your spelling
western
eastern
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 a store
room
 , education
room
 and
mother child
Add a hyphen
mother-child
show examples
room
built
Add a missing verb
were built
show examples
.
However
,
remaining
Verb problem
apply
show examples
all rooms remained unchanged like
staff
Correct article usage
the staff
show examples
 office, reception, laboratory and treatment
room
.
Submitted by modudahmedamzad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words map, side, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: