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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment

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Introduction
Primarily
everycrime
Correct your spelling
every crime
everytime
must not be
unpunish
Correct your spelling
unpunished
.
However
Linking Words
,for
everycrime
Correct your spelling
crime
 should be
taken punishments
Verb problem
punished by
show examples
 looking at their level of
crime
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,someone stole a suitcase and for
this
Linking Words
 government cannot give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ten or more
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
years of prison punishment.
Therefore
Linking Words
 I disagree with
this
Linking Words
pointview
Correct your spelling
point
.I'll winder
cooverage
Correct your spelling
coverage
 off my opinion in the following essay.
Body paragraph 1
Numereous people think that,if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
put
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict
lows
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
 for each type of
Use synonyms
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
,no one will commit a
crime
Use synonyms
 everyone will stay away from
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 a
crime
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 some
ways
Add a comma
ways,
show examples
 it's a true to make
this
Linking Words
 decision.Probably,it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 more
benefial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 respect among other countries.
Body paragraph 2
The main reason,why
I'm disagree
Change the verb form
I disagree
show examples
 is that,as we know mostly poor
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
who cannot afford their families or haven't got enough money for their
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
, commit
a small
Correct the article-noun agreement
small crimes
a small crime
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 stolling
a foods
Correct the article-noun agreement
foods
a food
show examples
 from markets,or stolling
a suitcases
Correct the article-noun agreement
suitcases
a suitcase
show examples
.For
this
Linking Words
 kind of
Use synonyms
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
 environment cannot give
a strong punishments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a strong punishment
strong punishments
show examples
,they can put a fine or
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
15 days in prison and I think it would be enough for them.But,for big and
seriously
Change the word
serious
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
 government should put
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strict punishment,
shuch
Correct your spelling
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 killing or
guard
Wrong verb form
guarding
show examples
thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
show examples
 and so on,because
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
crimes
Use synonyms
 are worth it.
Conclusion
As a result
Linking Words
,I think every
crime
Use synonyms
 should be fixed
looking
Change preposition
by looking
show examples
 at their level of
crime
Use synonyms
 and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
punishes
Correct your spelling
punishments
show examples
.

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are necessary components of any essay. Ensure that you introduce the topic clearly and summarize your main points in the conclusion for a well-rounded argument.
logical structure
There are significant issues with the logical structure of your argument. Your essay should have a clear progression of ideas, moving logically from one point to the next with clear paragraphing and use of linking words.
supported main points
While some main points are presented, they need clearer development and support. Consider using more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Work on fully responding to the task by addressing both views presented in the prompt before providing your own opinion. Ensure that your response directly answers the question asked.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas must be expressed clearly and in a comprehensive manner. Aim to be more precise in conveying your thoughts and avoid overly complex sentences that can make your argument harder to follow.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will add depth to your essay and make your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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