IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
#information #families #country #income
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart illustrates
allocation
Correct article usage
the allocation
show examples
 of eight different
expenses
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a specific country in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, expenditure on food was the highest in 1968.
In contrast
Linking Words
, leisure comprised the highest
expenses
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
, fuel remained the lowest expense
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both periods. In 1968, 35% of weekly earnings
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 used for food consumption, which represented more than thrice
expenses
Use synonyms
 on housing or fashion items. The other aspects
such
Linking Words
 as household goods, physical goods and transport had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar percentage which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 approximately 15%,
whereas
Linking Words
 leisure had
slightly
Add an article
a slightly
show examples
 higher proportion (about 18%). In regard to expense in 2018, spending in leisure
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the highest among other categories which made up around 23%.
Expenses
Use synonyms
 on food and housing were between 16-18%. Transport,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, took around 14% of the total weekly income
per-household
Correct your spelling
per household
show examples
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, fuel and power; clothing
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
footwear and personal goods only
comprises
Change the verb form
comprise
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
less than 10% of revenue weekly each.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words expenses with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: