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Band 7

Some people think that visitors to other countries should obey local behaviors while other people disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #visitors #countries #behaviors #host #country #differences
Some believe that it is necessary for foreign tourists to follow local costumes
whereas
 others claim that cultural differences should be willing to accepted by the host
country
.
This
 essay will discuss
both
 viewpoints and
this
 writer holds the view that
both
visitors
 and the
country
 should adapt to new traditions. On the one hand, there are some reasons that
visitors
 to other countries should adjust local norms.
Firstly
, it helps
people
 to know more about the place they visit, which makes it much easier for them to immerse themselves in a new environment and
also
 improve their experience. To illustrate, learning how to use chopsticks is a good way for travellers visiting Asia nations to easily enjoy the cuisine here.
Secondly
,
visitors
 who obey the local manners can avoid social misunderstanding significantly as each
country
 has its own
culture
 so it is unpreventable to make mistakes when visiting overseas.
For instance
, some behaviours are acceptable in
this
country
 but they can be unacceptable and even illegal in other countries .
Thus
, knowing some necessary knowledge will prevent them from being a wrongdoer and concurrently express their respect for that place.
On the other hand
, the
country
 where
people
 travel
also
 needs to welcome their traditions. When foreigners share their
culture
 and behaviour with the local
people
 it gives an opportunity for local
people
 to have a better understanding of their
culture
 and characters.
This
 will have a huge influence on local
people
's opinions about foreigners and their
culture
.
In addition
,
this
 is an effective way to show the
country
’s hospitality and enhance its image. If travellers feel they are welcomed in the new
country
 despite the cultural differences they will feel more comfortable and satisfied to visit
this
 place again, which contributes to the development of the tourism industry.
To conclude
,
both
 viewpoints have shown valid reasons, I believe that tourism is a means of cultural exchange so
both
visitors
 and the host
country
 should share and adopt new
culture
 which enriches the traditions, helps them learn civilized behaviours and
also
 eliminates some outdated trends making
people
’s life more and more develop.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main point to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and improve vocabulary range for better clarity and precision.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion considering both viewpoints, which effectively achieves the task response criterion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as chopsticks and cultural misunderstandings, strengthens the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the main points, contributing to the essay's overall structure.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized, with smooth transitions between paragraphs, contributing to the overall flow of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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