IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The world greatly changes , and the
choices
Use synonyms
 play important roles in human life.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that a variety of
choices
Use synonyms
 are available in a human's life, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that there are tremendous opportunities worldwide.
To begin
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 with, I think that
People
Use synonyms
 in the past had fewer
choices
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 compared with nowadays.
In other words
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, citizens can easily get money ,
although
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 they don't have experience or even certificates.
In addition
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, there are many ways that
people
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 could use to enhance their Lives.
For example
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, they can be a model, blogger or influencer. In fact, even tough things could be famous and spread on social media and get a lot of likes and financial support.
As a result
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 of
this
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, the person will be rich as welland he will not focus on the education side. Another point to consider is that it was very hard to get money in the past. It is
also
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 possible to say that there are low
choices
Use synonyms
 and opportunities. If nations don’t have a certificate or experience, they will never have a job. There was no social media or technology , and they relied on personal proficiency or performance in specific fields.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 don’t have the opportunity to show their creativity to the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, the population who are uneducated, have low income because no one will hire them or consider they useful.
In contrast
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, nowadays, a lot of companies believe in
people
Use synonyms
's creativity more than their education level. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, I believe that
people
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 have many
choices
Use synonyms
 that can decide their way.

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task response
Be clear on your view. In the introduction, state if you agree or disagree and how much. Then write two or three clear points with ideas that support your view. Use simple links to show how the ideas go to the next part.
coherence cohesion
Make your writing easier to read. Use one main idea in each paragraph and start it with a simple topic sentence. Use link words like First, Also, But, So, In addition to connect ideas.
content
There is an attempt to compare past and present choices, which shows some control of topic.
organization
The essay has a basic structure with an intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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