People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

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Nowadays
individuals
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individuals'
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sleeping
time
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dramatically
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
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comporison
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compared
to the past. In modern
life
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life,
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lack of sleep is
common
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a common
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and widespread issue
due to
Linking Words
two major causes.
First
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The first
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problem
related
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is related
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to irreversible changes
of
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in
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world
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the world
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in side of
complexibility
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complexity
which
lead
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leads
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to
high
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a high
the high
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level of comprehensive information people must know. The second cause
directly
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is directly
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related to
job
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jobs
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and
work place
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workplace
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. Albeit employed work
time
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annually decrease it doesn't mean that coworkers can rest more
time
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on the contrary
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
work competition and new knowledge expansion thay must considerably spend thay free on studying and
also
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competition range is increasing which lead to anxiety invoke stress and reduce sleep
time
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. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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this
Linking Words
negative trend will only accumulate charge and become more and more powerful. It is apparent that individual and
society
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societal
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effect is very
infirtinate
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unfortunate
.
For
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example
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example,
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lack of sleep could
arise
Verb problem
cause
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some
desuase
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disease
or if you already have ilk your condition may worsen. Another problem related to doctors who perform
a
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apply
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surgery during which
they
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their
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phisik
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physical
and mental conditions could
deteriorates
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deteriorate
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and lead to disaster for patients and
hospital
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the hospital
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. Another cause related to nuclear
ingeners
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engineers
ingenious
who in
link
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the link
a link
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of
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to
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bad rest and high pressure could make
vital
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a vital
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mistake
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mistakes
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.
Summarize
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To summarize
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Linking Words
overall
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the overall
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picture it is noticeable that lack of sleep is
major
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a major
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issue in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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world which
pass
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has passed
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away many lives around the world. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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any measures do not exist and in
near
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the near
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future
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future,
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this
Linking Words
tebdention
Correct your spelling
tendentious
will only rise up
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure which makes the progression of ideas difficult to follow. There is no clear introduction or conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are not effectively supported with specific, developed explanations or examples. Instead, they are stated with limited elaboration, reducing the impact of the arguments made.
task achievement
The response does not adequately cover all parts of the task. It does not clearly explain the reasons behind reduced sleeping time or its effects on individuals and people around them. Furthermore, the essay fails to use relevant examples to illustrate the points made effectively.
task achievement
The ideas presented are not clear or comprehensive. This is due to the limited explanation and expansion on reasons and effects, as well as a lack of specific and illustrative examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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