People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

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In many countries,
women
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no longer feel the need to get married. Some argue that
this
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is
due to
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financial
independence
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, as
women
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today can earn their own income and do not require the security that
marriage
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traditionally
provided
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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viewpoint. Personally, I think that
women
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choose not to get married because of their personal development and the
bordes
Correct your spelling
borders
that
marriage
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may impose on their freedom.
Firstly
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, modern
women
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have more opportunities for education, career growth, and self-improvement. In my opinion, many
women
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prefer to focus on their professional success and personal goals rather than traditional roles within
marriage
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.
Secondly
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,
in addition
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,
marriage
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can sometimes create social and cultural expectations that restrict
women
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’s
independence
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. What is more, some
women
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believe that
marriage
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can limit their ability to make personal and professional choices freely.
However
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, some may argue that financial
independence
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is the main reason why
women
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avoid
marriage
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.
Nevertheless
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, financial security is not the only factor influencing
this
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decision. Many
women
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today prioritize
self-fulfillment
Change the spelling
self-fulfilment
show examples
and happiness over societal expectations. In conclusion,
while
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financial
independence
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plays a role in the changing attitude toward
marriage
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, it is not the main reason why many
women
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choose to remain single. All things considered,
women
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today value their personal freedom, self-growth, and
independence
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, which often leads them to reject traditional
marriage
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in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of a more fulfilling and unrestricted life.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or experiences to support your points, particularly in your main arguments about personal development and social expectations. This would enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more explicitly using linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This would enhance coherence and help guide the reader through your reasoning.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and logically argues against the viewpoint of financial independence as the primary reason women choose not to marry.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs focusing on specific aspects of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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