IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
#information #families #country #income
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The bar chart illustrates
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of families' weekly expenditures compared to weekly incomes in 1968 and 2018. The expenditures are classified into eight groups. In general, household mostly spent their income
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food in 1968.
In contrast
Linking Words
, leisure was the most significant
expenses
Fix the agreement mistake
expense
show examples
 in 2018.
While
Linking Words
 other categories
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
have fluctuated
show examples
, household goods
maintained
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 stable. In 1968, families spent more than a third of their incomes
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food (35%) and it decreased
half
Change preposition
by half
show examples
 to 17.5% in 2018. Other significant expenses
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 housing
as well as
Linking Words
 clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 which is 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 expenditure in 2018 was leisure which increased approximately triple.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 significant expenditure in 2018 was housing
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 rose almost double (19%).
In addition
Linking Words
, transport increased mostly 5%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other groups which dropped were fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
,
personal
Correct word choice
and personal
show examples
 goods. Both in 1968 and 2018, families spent
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 on fuel and power not more than 10%.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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