The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year.

#bar #sales #jeans #two #companies #year #turkey #market

The column graph gives a projection

Change preposition

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the next year’s

jeans

sales of two companies in Turkey

while

the pie chart compares their estimated

market

Overall

jeans

sales are estimated to increase

Change preposition

show examples

the

last

quarter

Change preposition

of next

show examples

year and

Jack

Correct article usage

the Jack

show examples

Jones

brand is anticipated to have half of the

market

According to

the first graph,

Jack

Correct article usage

the Jack

show examples

Jones

jeans

clothing

sale

will be roughly 450

thousand

pairs in Turkey, which is almost three times higher than that of

Mango

Correct article usage

the Mango

show examples

brand. At

end

Correct article usage

the end

show examples

of the first

quarter

, Jack &

Jones

is estimated to sell 300

thousand

pairs of

jeans

in Turkey

while

it would be just above 150

thousand

for

Mango

. In July and August, the demand for

Mango

jeans

is estimated to exceed the demand of Jack &

Jones

However

, Jack &

Jones

is likely to witness a hike in its

jeans

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

during the

last

quarter

of the year and in December it will sell 900,000 pairs, double

than

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apply

show examples

its

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

in January. During the

last

quarter

Mango

jean’s

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

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would remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

almost the same except

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for a

show examples

surge in December to 600

thousand

sales. It is predicted that Jack &

Jones

alone will control

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

half of the

market

while

Mango

corporation

Capitalize word

Corporation

show examples

will have

Correct article usage

a 30

show examples

market

. The remaining 20% would be controlled by the other

jeans

manufacturers.

Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on Sun Dec 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words jeans, market, share, quarter, jones, sale, thousand, mango with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

223 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

estimated sales
projected market share
dominant player
competition
consumer choice
pricing strategies
market trends
marketing campaigns
economic conditions
fashion trends

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The bar chart below shows the estimated sales of jeans for two companies next year in Turkey. The pie chart shows the projected market share of the two companies in jeans at the end of next year.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages? (Nguyen)

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. However, it is longer the main form of transport. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycle among the wider population?