Out of a country health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures To what extent do you agree or dis agree with this statement?
In
this
era that we have been living in, health and healthily
lifestyle have concentered one of the most paramount and momentous concerning topics. Governments have been dedicating enormous Change the word
healthy
budge
for remedying patients and Correct your spelling
budgets
whom
massive Correct pronoun usage
apply
expenditure
put a tremendous strain on Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
society administrations
shoulder. Logically behind my mind is that, a particular proportion of Change noun form
society's administration's
this
funding must have been advocated for preventing of
chronic Change preposition
apply
illness
. In this
essay, I will clarify my ideas and demonstrate it
.
To embark on, in according with Correct pronoun usage
them
commonsense
approach, vividly curbing Correct article usage
the commonsense
of
every deleterious and detrimental phenomenon is more affordable than Change preposition
apply
care
the thornier implications. To illustrate Wrong verb form
caring about
this
assertion it is more practical we conserve a building from deterioration than refurbish and renovate a wrecked building. Consequently
preventing of
contagious abnormalities is more privileged for society articles and supervisions.
To put it in another way, Change preposition
apply
while
a person had been engaged with a gloom and doom of illness
,even after treatment ,on no occasion cannot possess the abilities and psychologically
condition have had before Change the word
psychological
this
incidence
.Replace the word
incident
This
person have
been Change the verb form
has
affluence
mentally and physically by Correct your spelling
influenced
this
irregularity. You can take the comparatively contemporary pandemic covide 19 as an evident and concert instant that has had incredible
effect on our Add an article
an incredible
mentally
and respiratory systems and even Change the word
mental
some body's
fondest person passed away. Correct your spelling
somebody's
This
effect unfortunately accompanied with
us until death.in conclusion, Change preposition
apply
take
Verb problem
apply
a
definite and impractical deterrent measures for Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
outbreak
of Add an article
the outbreak
an outbreak
this
infectious illness
can be more constructive.
All aforementioned stand points
drive me to a tangible inference that specific Correct your spelling
standpoints
budge
Correct your spelling
budget
preventing
can plunge the Replace the word
prevention
illness
rate.to
my ways of thinking , domain Capitalize word
To
healthily
lifestyle can diminish exhaustible pressure on Change the word
healthy
health
system and they can dedicate their attention Add an article
the health
on
emergency Change preposition
to
case
.Fix the agreement mistake
cases
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logical structure
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas not flowing smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Aim for a more organized approach by clearly outlining your main points and using cohesive devices to link ideas.
introduction conclusion present
An introduction and a conclusion are present, but they are not adequately developed. Ensure that your introduction sets a clear stance on the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes key points without introducing new information.
supported main points
While some main points are supported, several assertions lack concrete evidence. Expand on your ideas with clear examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
complete response
You address the task by presenting a relevant position, but the response is only somewhat complete. Strengthen your response by fully developing your argument and ensuring all parts of the task are sufficiently covered.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant but not clearly presented or comprehensive. Clarify your thoughts and make sure they are easy to follow. Use paragraphs to structure your argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
Your examples, such as the reference to COVID-19, are relevant but need to be more specific and fully elaborated upon for a stronger argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.