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Band 4

Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to be. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunities exist for them to do so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #jobs #education #opportunities
Nowadays, young
people
 are increasingly excelling in literacy. Numerous
people
 have suggested that
this
 shift was caused by increased competition for jobs, and others have suggested that the additional opportunities for learning in
today
's junior communities were responsible for the improvement. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both of these points and explain why I think fighting for a job gives more incentive to continue education. On the one hand,
students
 will continue their studies to make themselves more employable. ​With job opportunities limited in modern society, school leavers should consider increasing their competitiveness by reforming their academic performance
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This
 has left an increasing number of
students
 having to push themselves to improve their academic credentials in order to get jobs
..
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.
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On the other hand
,
students
today
 have better educational resources than they did in the past. Governments in most countries now offer financial support to
students
 who cannot afford to attend university
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.
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The aid given by governments has made advanced education universally available, making
today
's youngsters more qualified. Personally, I think the pressure to get hired is the main cause of persistent discipline
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Finding work to earn an income can be an essential need for every adult
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.
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Most graduates
today
 are obliged to upgrade their educational background in order to find stable work for their livelihood
..
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.
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This
 drives most young
people
today
 to decide to continue their studies
..
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.
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 In conclusion, continued learning can be motivated by competition for employment and by the increased educational resources available
today
..
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.
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Personally, I think more
people
 are likely to go ahead with a scholarship because of their job prospects
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.
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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, ensure that the ideas flow logically from one to another and that the connections between your points are clear throughout. Use a variety of transition words and cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively. Establish and maintain a clear central idea for each paragraph. The essay should also include a well-defined introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points discussed.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, your essay should fully address all parts of the prompt with a clear position throughout the response. Expand on the central ideas by providing more detailed and in-depth analysis, supported by relevant and specific examples. Aim to develop your arguments thoroughly to achieve the highest marks in this category.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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