Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The proliferating of purchasing goods has been a famous exercise in their free
time
. It is reckoned by young people to buy online shopping is a trend. However
, spending time
shopping has been observed by a large number of people. Due to
they
are not conscious of the importance of free time
so they prefer to buy items. It is a negative impact and in this
essay, I will support my stand with valid arguments.
In many countries, especially in cities, shopping has become a popular activity for adults. Youngsters are eager to explore new trends and products in the market
. Therefore
, whenever youngsters have spare time
they go out to the market
. One of my friends is a fashion geek and he loves to go to shopping centres to check the new designs arrive in stores, in turn, he wastes valuable time
which can
be utilized for other work.I believe Wrong verb form
could
this
negative trend adopted by young people is forcing themselves to spend extravagantly while
they go out shopping. Moreover
, when they visit the market
ultimately they are wasting their precious time
which can be spent cautiously on upgrading professional skills which might help at work. A recent survey by Times Now revealed that more than 50% of the young respondents admitted that they spend at least 20 hours per week at shopping centres and most of the time
they purchase from the store. Therefore
, this
habit of the young is beneficial for their overall
growth.
In conclusion, adults tend to go shopping because of curiosity regarding something new in the market
, I affirm my viewpoint that this
useless habit is wasting their money and precious time
.Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay does not follow a clear and logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the arguments presented. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be better structured to enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs clearly express one main idea and a series of supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It touches on the reasons why shopping is popular and hints at its negative effects, but fails to explore the reasons in-depth or why it may or may not be considered positive or negative development.
Task Achievement
Provide clear, comprehensive ideas directly related to the question prompts. Each paragraph should center around a central idea that ties back to the overarching question, ensuring that the reader can easily understand your position on the topic.
Task Achievement
Back up your points with relevant and specific examples. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic. Avoid vague statements without concrete evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.