Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
The assumption of being a famous
celebrity
always increased Use synonyms
people
’s interest. Use synonyms
This
may be because they could take advantage of it, including a better live-stander level Linking Words
as well as
some valuable opportunities. Linking Words
However
, other Linking Words
people
may have opposite opinions. Use synonyms
This
essay aims to support the idea that becoming a Linking Words
celebrity
would have more benefits than disadvantages.
Use synonyms
Initially
, becoming a superstar would result in less financial concern. Linking Words
For example
, the NBA is the highest-level basketball legend in the world. The lowest annual salary for a normal-level NBA player is around 2.4 million USD, which is an unimaginable number for a middle-class family, Linking Words
not to mention
those Linking Words
people
who struggle with the poverty line. Use synonyms
As a result
, if a person could become a sports talent and earn a contrast as a national representative-level athlete, they would at least not have to worry about whether they could afford the groceries. Linking Words
In other words
, they could concentrate on their careers and pursue their own profiles with less stress.
Linking Words
Secondly
, being a Linking Words
celebrity
would provide some unique opportunity, which is valuable for an individual to improve their own skills. It is imaginable that the challenges faced by a file star or professional athlete would be different for an employee who obtains the same routine every day. Those challenges may lead to exhaustion both physically and mentally. Use synonyms
For instance
, a professional athlete has to manage their diet Linking Words
while
accepting the hardest training. Linking Words
However
, once the individual learns how to address those stresses, he or she will become more skilled in their own field. Linking Words
Therefore
, they could Linking Words
archive
their target more easily.
In conclusion, becoming a Verb problem
achieve
celebrity
would not only reduce Use synonyms
people
's financial stress but Use synonyms
also
provide unique opportunities to improve themselves. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
this
essay agrees with the idea that Linking Words
people
could gain more advantages by being celebrities.Use synonyms
Submitted by heimli6 on
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task achievement
To achieve higher marks in task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Your essay would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both benefits and problems of being a celebrity to reflect the comparative nature of the question.
coherence cohesion
While your essay exhibits logical structure, introduction, and conclusion, try to establish a clearer position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of connectives and topic-specific vocabulary to enhance the flow of ideas and exhibit higher language proficiency.
task achievement
Include more detailed and varied examples to illustrate your points. Specific anecdotes or statistics could strengthen the effectiveness of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?