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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Make comparisons where relevant.
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #report #university #lecturer #comparisons
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The given table illustrates some data about the subway systems in six disparate
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world. It is clearly evident that
London
Use synonyms
 is the oldest city which established the underground railway system in 1863. Other
metropolices
Correct your spelling
metropolises
 found
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon between 1900 and 1981. Unlike Los Angeles which is the latest one and started to
begins
Change the verb
begin
show examples
 in 2001.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the other significant factor we should consider is the
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route. It is obvious that
London
Use synonyms
 has by far the widest railways which is 394
kilometres
Use synonyms
. After
London
Use synonyms
, Paris, Tokyo, and Washington
Dc
Correct your spelling
DC
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 the broadest distance with about 160
kilometres
Use synonyms
averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, LA
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and Kyoto manufactured the shortest length of route with merely 28 and 11
kilometres
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, respectively.
Further
Linking Words
, another pivotal factor is how many
passengaers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 those trains carry annually. It is crystal clear that Tokyo, in spite of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 small length, could carry more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 other
cities
Use synonyms
 with 1927 travellers. What's more, Paris and
London
Use synonyms
 with a little difference are in the next positions.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Washington, LA, and Kyoto
that has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the least fortune in comparison to other
cities
Use synonyms
. In sum,
London
Use synonyms
's subway opened
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
earlier than other
cities
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 and passes a longer destination. Meanwhile, Tokyo has more voyagers.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Kyoto and Los Angeles were built earlier and
pass
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
shortest
Change the article
the shortest
show examples
 way,
in addition
Linking Words
 to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 fewer
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people who are using their new urban systems.
Submitted by tg.persian on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, london, kilometres with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway
  • kilometers of route
  • passengers per year
  • extensive network
  • age of the system
  • analyze
  • correlation
  • outliers
  • notable comparisons
  • trends
  • commuter volume
  • inauguration date
  • modernization
  • historic
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • operate
  • transportation hub
  • utilization
  • frequency of service
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