The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there has been a rising opinion that employees should have more
days
to rest and decrease their working time
. If the working hours of the workers
are not reduced, it affects their psychology and the working week
shorter employees spend their time
with family.
First and foremost, such
change will be beneficial for workers
' mental health. Mostly, people work
under these conditions: 5 days
of work
in the working week
with 40 hours in total. This
is very malicious for their psyche, especially taking into account the amount of pressure in highly-ranked job positions, such
as top manager or chief roles. Thus
, a wide range of workers
face emotional burnout and feel overburdened. In fact, the reported study by the Harvard Business School demonstrated that 65% of people working under conventional working standards could develop some mental diseases, such
as depression or apathy, throughout the period of work
. Therefore
, a reduction in the working weeks and an increase in weekend days
may improve employees' well-being.
Nevertheless
, the benefits of an extended weekend in terms of enhancing quality of life are paramount. The current length of weekends often limits individuals from having sufficient free time
to travel, pursue long-term personal projects, and spend quality time
with their families. An additional day off would provide greater flexibility in all these aspects. For example
, an average employee who is predominantly occupied with work
throughout the week
may only consider resting during the weekend. With an extra day off, there could be a surge in participation in family activities or exploration of hobbies outside of work
, such
as engaging in artistic endeavours or sports that demand more time
and dedication.
In conclusion, the question of whether or not the working week
should be shortened is still one of the most heated debates today. I believe that days
should be reduced,
because Remove the comma
apply
such
a shift would bring about improvements in both workers
' mental well-being and companies' profits.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Nonetheless, consider elaborating on your specific examples to make your argument more convincing. For instance, you could include more details from the Harvard Business School study or describe specific activities families might do with extra time off.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, there were minor grammar issues such as 'it affects their psychology and the working week shorter employees spend their time with family' which could be clarified. You could rephrase it to 'it affects their psychology, and a shorter working week would allow employees to spend more time with family.'
task achievement
Your essay effectively argues the benefits of a shorter working week, focusing on both mental health benefits and improved quality of life.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion which help to frame your argument clearly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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