The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there has been a rising opinion that employees should have more
days
to rest and decrease their working
time
. If the working hours of the
workers
are not reduced, it affects their psychology and the working
week
shorter employees spend their
time
with family. First and foremost,
such
change will be beneficial for
workers
' mental health. Mostly, people
work
under these conditions: 5
days
of
work
in the working
week
with 40 hours in total.
This
is very malicious for their psyche, especially taking into account the amount of pressure in highly-ranked job positions,
such
as top manager or chief roles.
Thus
, a wide range of
workers
face emotional burnout and feel overburdened. In fact, the reported study by the Harvard Business School demonstrated that 65% of people working under conventional working standards could develop some mental diseases,
such
as depression or apathy, throughout the period of
work
.
Therefore
, a reduction in the working weeks and an increase in weekend
days
may improve employees' well-being.
Nevertheless
, the benefits of an extended weekend in terms of enhancing quality of life are paramount. The current length of weekends often limits individuals from having sufficient free
time
to travel, pursue long-term personal projects, and spend quality
time
with their families. An additional day off would provide greater flexibility in all these aspects.
For example
, an average employee who is predominantly occupied with
work
throughout the
week
may only consider resting during the weekend. With an extra day off, there could be a surge in participation in family activities or exploration of hobbies outside of
work
,
such
as engaging in artistic endeavours or sports that demand more
time
and dedication. In conclusion, the question of whether or not the working
week
should be shortened is still one of the most heated debates today. I believe that
days
should be reduced
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because
such
a shift would bring about improvements in both
workers
' mental well-being and companies' profits.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Nonetheless, consider elaborating on your specific examples to make your argument more convincing. For instance, you could include more details from the Harvard Business School study or describe specific activities families might do with extra time off.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, there were minor grammar issues such as 'it affects their psychology and the working week shorter employees spend their time with family' which could be clarified. You could rephrase it to 'it affects their psychology, and a shorter working week would allow employees to spend more time with family.'
task achievement
Your essay effectively argues the benefits of a shorter working week, focusing on both mental health benefits and improved quality of life.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion which help to frame your argument clearly.

Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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