IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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Nowadays, there has been a rising opinion that employees should have more
days
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 to rest and decrease their working
time
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. If the working hours of the
workers
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 are not reduced, it affects their psychology and the working
week
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 shorter employees spend their
time
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 with family. First and foremost,
such
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 change will be beneficial for
workers
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' mental health. Mostly, people
work
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 under these conditions: 5
days
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 of
work
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 in the working
week
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 with 40 hours in total.
This
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 is very malicious for their psyche, especially taking into account the amount of pressure in highly-ranked job positions,
such
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 as top manager or chief roles.
Thus
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, a wide range of
workers
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 face emotional burnout and feel overburdened. In fact, the reported study by the Harvard Business School demonstrated that 65% of people working under conventional working standards could develop some mental diseases,
such
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 as depression or apathy, throughout the period of
work
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.
Therefore
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, a reduction in the working weeks and an increase in weekend
days
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 may improve employees' well-being.
Nevertheless
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, the benefits of an extended weekend in terms of enhancing quality of life are paramount. The current length of weekends often limits individuals from having sufficient free
time
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 to travel, pursue long-term personal projects, and spend quality
time
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 with their families. An additional day off would provide greater flexibility in all these aspects.
For example
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, an average employee who is predominantly occupied with
work
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 throughout the
week
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 may only consider resting during the weekend. With an extra day off, there could be a surge in participation in family activities or exploration of hobbies outside of
work
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,
such
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 as engaging in artistic endeavours or sports that demand more
time
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 and dedication. In conclusion, the question of whether or not the working
week
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 should be shortened is still one of the most heated debates today. I believe that
days
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 should be reduced
,
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apply
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 because
such
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 a shift would bring about improvements in both
workers
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' mental well-being and companies' profits.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Nonetheless, consider elaborating on your specific examples to make your argument more convincing. For instance, you could include more details from the Harvard Business School study or describe specific activities families might do with extra time off.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, there were minor grammar issues such as 'it affects their psychology and the working week shorter employees spend their time with family' which could be clarified. You could rephrase it to 'it affects their psychology, and a shorter working week would allow employees to spend more time with family.'
task achievement
Your essay effectively argues the benefits of a shorter working week, focusing on both mental health benefits and improved quality of life.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion which help to frame your argument clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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