Consumer electronics products are making our lives more comfortable and entertaining. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

It is widely believed that consumer electronics have significantly enhanced our lives by providing a wide range of products that contribute to comfort and
entertainment
. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
statement. First and foremost, domestic digital
devices
have become an integral part of our daily lives, offering not only communication but
also
access to a vast array of information and
entertainment
. They serve as portable
entertainment
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, allowing users to watch videos, play games, and stay connected on the go.
For example
, people nowadays are able to choose among
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
number of different kinds of
in-door
Correct your spelling
indoor
show examples
entertainment
in their spare time
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
an enriching experience for users.
In addition
, beyond smartphones, various communication
devices
like laptops, tablets, and video conferencing tools have made it easier for people to connect with each other, especially in times when physical distance is a challenge.
Moreover
, smart home
devices
,
such
as smart thermostats, lighting systems, and security cameras, have made it easier to control and monitor our living spaces. These
devices
enhance comfort and security
while
also
providing energy efficiency.
For example
, in recent years, individuals can easily set up applications on their mobile phones and control their home,
such
as turning the light on, automatically filling food for pets, etc., from a faraway distance. For all the reasons above, it is undeniable
to conclude
that consumer electronics equipment has set a new milestone for our lives in a very entertaining and convenient way.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear stance and prepares the reader for the content of the essay. While your agreement with the statement was clear, a more explicit delineation of your main points would make for a stronger introduction.
logical structure
To improve coherence, transitions between ideas should be smooth, and the logical flow of arguments must be easy to follow. Use a variety of connecting words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay's line of reasoning.
supported main points
Support each main point with relevant, specific examples. While you included examples, diversifying and elaborating on them would strengthen your arguments. Additionally, avoid generalizations and ensure that your examples are directly related to the point being made.
complete response
It's essential that every part of the task question is addressed thoroughly. Make sure to develop each idea fully, and consider any possible counter-arguments to provide a well-rounded discussion of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in expounding upon your ideas; it is important that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences enhance this idea, elaborating on it or providing clear examples.
relevant specific examples
Use a wide range of vocabulary accurately to convey precise meanings, and ensure that you provide specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. Doing so would improve the specificity and relevance of your response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: