It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?

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In modern times, the issue of professional
lives
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and personal
lives
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has become highly controversial. There are those who say that
people
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should take
risks
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in their professional and personal
lives
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.
However
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, others believe that it shouldn't. In
this
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essay,
i
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I
show examples
will examine both sides of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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and provide my
overall
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opinion Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why
people
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believe that
people
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take
risks
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in their both
of
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apply
show examples
professional and personal
lives
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, they will learn many things in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
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, a man has
succeed
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succeeded
show examples
in their
life
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by
risky
Replace the word
risk
show examples
. Because of he had took risk
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firstly
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first
show examples
. Perhaps the main reason why
people
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are in favour of
this
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idea is because if
people
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take
risks
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in the business platform,
firstly
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they have
to
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apply
show examples
money
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but a couple of
people
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don’t have
money
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. They
applies
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apply
show examples
for
loan
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a loan
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in
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from
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the bank and if they take
risks
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in their professional
lives
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. Their business company will be increased.
Secondly
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, in the modern era, most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business man
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businessman
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has
took
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taken
show examples
risks
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in their
life
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. Despite these arguments, there is a case for the idea that some
people
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think if
people
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take
risks
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in their personal and professional
lives
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they will
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
money
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. Because of we are live in competitions era. The main reason why
people
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think that
this
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is a good idea is because there
have
Verb problem
are
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a lot of disadvantages
outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
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the advantages,
for
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example
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example,
show examples
if
people
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purcase
Correct your spelling
purchase
a house
to
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from
show examples
bank
Correct article usage
a bank
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by loan. They have to pay all of
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money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
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around
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
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time. Unfortunately, if they can not able to
being pay
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paying
show examples
this
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money
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. The bank community will give a case for them. Their
life
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will be hell.
As a
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result
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result,
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some
people
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think that
people
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shouldn't take
risks
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in their
life
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In conclusion, it must be said that
people
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to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
risks
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in their professional
lives
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and personal
lives
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has become
complex
Add an article
a complex
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issue with no
eassay
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essay
easy
solutions. Despite arguments to the contrary,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
feel that they should take
risks
Use synonyms
in their
life
Use synonyms
,
then
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they will be
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
man.
Submitted by iamsazzad100 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, as it lacks a clear progression of ideas and coherent argumentation. It is advisable to plan the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving a distinct purpose and logically following from one another.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and do not effectively frame the essay. Introductions should introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement outlining the essay's direction. Conclusions should summarize the main points and restate the thesis in light of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points were attempted but not effectively supported by relevant evidence or examples. This underserves your argument. When making a point, always provide clear examples or evidence to back it up, which also demonstrates the range of your knowledge and language ability.
task achievement
The response only partially fulfills the task requirements. It appears you tried to discuss both sides of the argument and state your opinion, but you did not develop these elements fully. Your response should be complete, with your opinion clearly stated and supported through the essay.
task achievement
While ideas were presented, they were not clear or comprehensive. Work on developing your ideas fully and expressing them with clear, straightforward language. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph contains one main idea that is explored in depth.
task achievement
Specific examples are weak or absent, which limits the essay's persuasive power and clarity. Examples should be directly relevant to the point you're making and should help to illustrate your argument. They can include personal experiences, hypothetical situations, or references to facts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • growth
  • innovation
  • achievement
  • comfort zone
  • security
  • failure
  • success
  • uncertainty
  • challenges
  • decision-making
  • courage
  • calculated risks
  • consequences
  • fear
  • regret
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