It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?
In modern times, the issue of professional
lives
and personal lives
has become highly controversial. There are those who say that people
should take risks
in their professional and personal lives
. However
, others believe that it shouldn't. In this
essay, i
will examine both sides of Change the capitalization
I
argument
and provide my Add an article
the argument
an argument
overall
opinion
Generally speaking, there are two main reasons why people
believe that people
to
take Fix the infinitive
apply
risks
in their both of
professional and personal Change preposition
apply
lives
, they will learn many things in their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, a man has succeed
in their Change the verb form
succeeded
life
by risky
. Because of he had took risk Replace the word
risk
firstly
. Perhaps the main reason why Change the word
first
people
are in favour of this
idea is because if people
take risks
in the business platform, firstly
they have to
Change preposition
apply
money
but a couple of people
don’t have money
. They applies
for Change the verb form
apply
loan
Add an article
a loan
in
the bank and if they take Change preposition
from
risks
in their professional lives
. Their business company will be increased. Secondly
, in the modern era, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
business man
has Correct your spelling
businessman
took
Change the verb form
taken
risks
in their life
.
Despite these arguments, there is a case for the idea that some people
think if people
take risks
in their personal and professional lives
they will get
Verb problem
apply
loss
Replace the word
lose
money
. Because of we are live in competitions era. The main reason why people
think that this
is a good idea is because there have
a lot of disadvantages Verb problem
are
outweigh
the advantages, Correct pronoun usage
that outweigh
for
example
if Add the comma(s)
example,
people
purcase
a house Correct your spelling
purchase
to
Change preposition
from
bank
by loan. They have to pay all of Correct article usage
a bank
money
around Correct pronoun usage
their money
fixed
time. Unfortunately, if they can not able to Correct article usage
a fixed
being pay
Change the verb form
paying
this
money
. The bank community will give a case for them. Their life
will be hell. As a
result
some Add a comma
result,
people
think that people
shouldn't take risks
in their life
In conclusion, it must be said that people
to take
Change the verb form
taking
risks
in their professional lives
and personal lives
has become complex
issue with no Add an article
a complex
eassay
solutions. Despite arguments to the contrary, Correct your spelling
essay
easy
i
feel that they should take Change the capitalization
I
risks
in their life
, then
they will be succesfull
man.Correct your spelling
successful
Submitted by iamsazzad100 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, as it lacks a clear progression of ideas and coherent argumentation. It is advisable to plan the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving a distinct purpose and logically following from one another.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and do not effectively frame the essay. Introductions should introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement outlining the essay's direction. Conclusions should summarize the main points and restate the thesis in light of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points were attempted but not effectively supported by relevant evidence or examples. This underserves your argument. When making a point, always provide clear examples or evidence to back it up, which also demonstrates the range of your knowledge and language ability.
task achievement
The response only partially fulfills the task requirements. It appears you tried to discuss both sides of the argument and state your opinion, but you did not develop these elements fully. Your response should be complete, with your opinion clearly stated and supported through the essay.
task achievement
While ideas were presented, they were not clear or comprehensive. Work on developing your ideas fully and expressing them with clear, straightforward language. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph contains one main idea that is explored in depth.
task achievement
Specific examples are weak or absent, which limits the essay's persuasive power and clarity. Examples should be directly relevant to the point you're making and should help to illustrate your argument. They can include personal experiences, hypothetical situations, or references to facts.
