Some people think that nowadays children have more freedom than previous generations. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

#people #children #freedom #generations #development

In the contemporary era, there has been ongoing debate regarding whether

children

enjoy more

freedom

than the

last

generations. Some believe that

this

move can be a positive development,

while

others worry that may cause a detrimental effect.

This

essay will explore both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint. In

this

neoliberal society,

children

are generally considered the dominant of the next generation.

Therefore

, it is essential for parents and teachers to give them space to grow. There are several benefits of giving

children

the power to do what they want. One of the significant advantages is creativity. It is widely agreed that empowering

people

from an early age can force them to brainstorm. When

people

face multiple choices, their final results are a string of elaborate considerations.

As a consequence

children

who were given

freedom

will be more excellent than others in brain development since they have undergone

this

all the time,

while

this

trait is useful in nowadays workplaces which extremely demand creative

people

On the other hand

, what is alarming is that some adverse effects would happen if we provide

children

with too much

freedom

. It is undeniable that a majority of

children

don't have the capability to be responsible for themselves. Most of the time,

children

are so immature that they can tell the right. With the availability of

freedom

, these

children

will be spoiled, and it is apparent that

children

can be

self-centered

Change the spelling

self-centred

show examples

in many aspects.

For example

, after indulged

children

grow up, they would ignore other

people

's needs as usual.

This

kind of indifferent personality could be harmful to future society. In conclusion, it is evident that giving

children

freedom

than former generations would allow them to adapt to today's environment but it is equally important to restrict them because the repercussions could affect the next generations. From my perspective, it is imperative that parents and teachers give

children

moderate

freedom

and play role models to bring positive effects.

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Sun Dec 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and stays focused on that idea without straying into off-topic information.

coherence cohesion

In the coherence and cohesion aspect, make sure to use a range of linking words to connect ideas and to have clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

task achievement

For higher task achievement, fully develop your ideas with more specific examples that clearly support your arguments.

task achievement

The essay should demonstrate a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument to meet the criteria of the question fully, rather than leaning significantly towards one perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Freedom
Independence
Decision-making skills
Explore
Talents
Excessive
Discipline
Irresponsible behavior
Boundaries
Regulations
Risk
Guidance
Supervision
Balanced
Responsible
Wise choices

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Some people think that nowadays children have more freedom than previous generations. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome culture difference. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

5.What key criteria does your target company use in their recruitment process?

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?