Some people think that nowadays children have more freedom than previous generations. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

In the contemporary era, there has been ongoing debate regarding whether
children
enjoy more
freedom
than the
last
generations. Some believe that
this
move can be a positive development,
while
others worry that may cause a detrimental effect.
This
essay will explore both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint. In
this
neoliberal society,
children
are generally considered the dominant of the next generation.
Therefore
, it is essential for parents and teachers to give them space to grow. There are several benefits of giving
children
the power to do what they want. One of the significant advantages is creativity. It is widely agreed that empowering
people
from an early age can force them to brainstorm. When
people
face multiple choices, their final results are a string of elaborate considerations.
As a consequence
,
children
who were given
freedom
will be more excellent than others in brain development since they have undergone
this
all the time,
while
this
trait is useful in nowadays workplaces which extremely demand creative
people
.
On the other hand
, what is alarming is that some adverse effects would happen if we provide
children
with too much
freedom
. It is undeniable that a majority of
children
don't have the capability to be responsible for themselves. Most of the time,
children
are so immature that they can tell the right. With the availability of
freedom
, these
children
will be spoiled, and it is apparent that
children
can be
self-centered
Change the spelling
self-centred
show examples
in many aspects.
For example
, after indulged
children
grow up, they would ignore other
people
's needs as usual.
This
kind of indifferent personality could be harmful to future society. In conclusion, it is evident that giving
children
more
freedom
than former generations would allow them to adapt to today's environment but it is equally important to restrict them because the repercussions could affect the next generations. From my perspective, it is imperative that parents and teachers give
children
moderate
freedom
and play role models to bring positive effects.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and stays focused on that idea without straying into off-topic information.
coherence cohesion
In the coherence and cohesion aspect, make sure to use a range of linking words to connect ideas and to have clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
For higher task achievement, fully develop your ideas with more specific examples that clearly support your arguments.
task achievement
The essay should demonstrate a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument to meet the criteria of the question fully, rather than leaning significantly towards one perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom
  • Independence
  • Decision-making skills
  • Explore
  • Talents
  • Excessive
  • Discipline
  • Irresponsible behavior
  • Boundaries
  • Regulations
  • Risk
  • Guidance
  • Supervision
  • Balanced
  • Responsible
  • Wise choices
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