Schools are no longer needed because students could find so much information on the Internet and study at home. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion
Raising well-rounded individuals
is
Wrong verb form
has been
condsidered
as an essential task of Correct your spelling
considered
schools
for many years. However
, with the invention of the internet
, accessing information
has become easier for individuals. At that point
there comes a question to minds: whether Add a comma
point,
schools
are still needed in the modern world or not. It can easily stated that despite the invention of the internet
makes
easier to reach immeasurable Wrong verb form
making it
information
, educating pupils is still required
the Wrong verb form
requires
assisstance
of a teacher and a school atmosphere.
Correct your spelling
assistance
Firstly
, one
of the reasons why schools
are still vital for education
is the factor of a real teacher. Despite the fact that thanks to the internet
, individuals can reach
huge Verb problem
access
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
information
by themselves, it can not seen as same
as an educational process. Since each pupil needs a holistic analysis, which is made by a professional, Correct article usage
the same
internet
can not provide adequate Correct article usage
the internet
education
for them. Imagine a boy who spends his time on
surfing the Change preposition
apply
internet
without a guide, it
is no Correct pronoun usage
there
guraantee
to learn essential topics in Correct your spelling
guarantee
this
way. In comparison with another student, who follows his/her teacher’s instructions, and a
curriculum, the first Correct article usage
apply
one
is likely to turn into less
educated adult in his Add an article
a less
later
life. Correct word choice
or later
To sum up
, one
should always keep in mind that raising a well-rounded adults
is not just showing Correct the article-noun agreement
well-rounded adults
a well-rounded adult
magnificient
data, it requires a curriculum and well-designed system.
Correct your spelling
magnificent
On the other hand
, when children go to a
school regularly they meet their peers and create their own social environment, Correct article usage
apply
in
which is an element key Change preposition
apply
for
becoming Change preposition
to
an comprehensive adults
. Let’s think of a Correct the article-noun agreement
a comprehensive adult
comprehensive adults
child
who spends his time at home alone without meeting any friends, it is very predictable that this
child
will have some relationship issues when he/she grew
up. Compared to Wrong verb form
grows
one
another child
who meet
their peers regularly, it is easy to grasp for him/her the nature of Change the verb form
meets
personal
Add an article
the personal
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
with
Change preposition
on
daily
basis. To wrap up, apart from the requirements of Add an article
a daily
education
, which mentioned
above, having a constant routine like a school may give an opportunity for socializing to pupils.
Add a missing verb
are mentioned
To conclude
, despite the internet
provides makes
easier Verb problem
apply
accessing
Wrong verb form
access to
information
, I believe that schools
are still saving their positions in the education
process, and they can not be overlooking
. Not only the importance of having a Wrong verb form
overlooked
lisenced
guideCorrect your spelling
licenced
licensed
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
belonging in a friends groups are crucial for raising a child
. Parents should be aware of the value of schools
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
utilizing the advantages of the internet
.Submitted by ilaydailday on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure throughout. Your points should follow in a coherent manner, which will involve careful paragraphing and the use of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced. The introduction should clearly present the topic and your position on it, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made and restate your position. Providing a more nuanced stance in both sections will enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported to some degree, they would benefit from more elaboration and the use of specific, relevant examples. This lends credibility to the argument and allows the reader to more fully understand the scope of your points.
task achievement
You have largely completed the response to the prompt by addressing the question of the necessity of schools in the Internet age. However, be sure to address all parts of the task. This includes not only stating your position but also fully elaborating on the reasons for this stance across the essay.
task achievement
Your presentation of ideas is clear, but at times it could be more comprehensive. Work on developing each idea fully to ensure that your argument is robust and persuasive. Don't assume the reader will make the connections without explicit explanation.
task achievement
Your use of examples is noted, however, they are not as relevant or specific as they could be to the argument at hand. Using targeted examples that closely relate to the points being made will strengthen your essay and provide a clearer illustration for your reader.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?