Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages ot this outweigh the disadventages

Adlescents
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Adolescents
are the building blocks of any country,
therefore
, their
education
aspects are the prime
concerns
Fix the agreement mistake
concern
show examples
in the present era. A segment of society believes that
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
of a foreign
language
should
introduced
Add a missing verb
be introduced
show examples
in the
begginer
Correct your spelling
beginner
period
while
others
proposed
Wrong verb form
propose
show examples
,
it
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that it
show examples
should be added
Change preposition
to
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in
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to
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their secondary
education
.
This
attitude has more benefits than drawbacks which are discussed in the following paragraphs. To commence with, adding foreign
language
in childrens' early
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
would be
extra
Add an article
an extra
show examples
burden on them, as they might not be fit to grasp all the contents which are delivered in the classroom.
In addition
to
it
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this
show examples
,
this
subject is not imperative in
the
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apply
show examples
early
education
and kids could learn it later.
Moreover
, the addition of
this
subject would be
extra
Add an article
an extra
show examples
financial burden on parents that
are
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is
show examples
not much needed in
this
stage. Despite some shortcomings, there are some benefits of it.
First
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The first
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and foremost advantage of
this
practice is a good grip on the dialect and accent of the
reffered
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preferred
referred
language
; children in their early period have fresh and clear minds,
they
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and they
show examples
can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
a better understanding
about
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of
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the given
language
.
For instance
, in the early periods, kids need to study only
few
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a few
show examples
subjects, and
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the study-load
show examples
study-load
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study load
show examples
would be
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
secondary
education
,
therefore
,
this
would be the best time to acquire knowledge of
an
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apply
show examples
another
language
.
In addition
to it,
Add an article
the juvenile
a juvenile
show examples
juvenile
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juveniles
show examples
can learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster than adults as their minds are free from
surronding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
tensions. To encapsulate,
although
, there are some pros exist with the introduction of
this
subject like extra
financal
Correct your spelling
financial
burden on parents and more pressure on offsprings,
however
, kids could make better understanding regarding given
language
that helps them later.
Submitted by parneetkhangura62 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clarity in certain areas and could be organized more effectively. The logical flow between ideas is somewhat disrupted, which can be improved through the use of clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is commendable. However, both could be strengthened to better present the topic and summarize the key points made within the essay respectively.
coherence cohesion
It is evident that you have attempted to support your main points, but the support could be more convincing. Make sure each main point is followed by specific examples or clear reasoning to solidify your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a complete response to the prompt. However, a more focused approach on the advantages and disadvantages of the issue with clearer, more developed ideas would enhance the response.
task achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on your points and ensuring that each one is fully explained and supported with evidence or examples.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more relevant and specific examples that directly support the points you're making. Such examples can illustrate your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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