Some people work for the same organisation for a lifetime. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
With an increasing number of new industries and job opportunities, there is a split in opinions on whether individuals should stick to
one
occupation for a life period or not. This
essay will explore both positions and provide my personal opinion at the end
.
To begin
with, having one
job for a whole life provides stability and financial benefits. Firstly
, the employee who works for only one
company for a lifetime period,
contributes their all Remove the comma
apply
the
professional skills to just Correct article usage
apply
one
company. This
means that these workers avoid the pressure of changing a job, feeling more secure and relaxed. Moreover
, many corporate organisations offer perks and incentives in the form of money for long-term employees. For instance
, in Melbourne, some sales companies provide extra annual bonuses for their managers with a potential increase over the years. Accordingly
, this
builds loyalty towards the organisations along with
encouraging people to improve their professional skills.
On the other hand
, experiencing a variety of opportunities offers a great chance to discover interesting working possibilities and to challenge yourself. When individuals try themselves in different fields, this
helps to explore a range of topics and to build new relationships. Furthermore
, challenging situations, such
as performing at the interview, joining new communities and even being rejected, lead to better motivation and a desire to grow. For example
, for those who work
exclusively in marketing for several years, taking on a role in project management could provide valuable insights and enhance problem-solving skills.
In conclusion, there are benefits for both life-long jobs and short-term positions. Wrong verb form
have worked
However
, from my perspective, trying new career opportunities expands humans' abilities intellectually and emotionally, and sometimes puts them into uncomfortable environments. By managing this
, people stimulate themselves to improve their social and professional abilities and also
realise their true desires and preferences in life.Submitted by innakireeva0101 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a decently structured logical flow with an introduction and conclusion; however, some transitions between ideas can be better improved to enhance the coherence. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to develop your main points more thoroughly and include a variety of linking phrases to demonstrate flexibility and range in your writing.
task achievement
Your response addresses all parts of the task, yet the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For a higher score, you need to elaborate more on your ideas with fully developed argumentation.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed clearly for the most part, but the response lacks depth and the ideas could be expressed more comprehensively with richer elaboration and detail.
task achievement
While you have made an effort to include examples, they are relatively generic. Specific and relevant examples that are directly linked to your main points will strengthen your argument and increase the task achievement score.