Some people work for the same organisation for a lifetime. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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With an increasing number of new industries and job opportunities, there is a split in opinions on whether individuals should stick to
one
Use synonyms
occupation for a life period or not.
This
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essay will explore both positions and provide my personal opinion
at the end
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.
To begin
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with, having
one
Use synonyms
job for a whole life provides stability and financial benefits.
Firstly
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, the employee who works for only
one
Use synonyms
company for a lifetime period
,
Remove the comma
apply
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contributes their all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professional skills to just
one
Use synonyms
company.
This
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means that these workers avoid the pressure of changing a job, feeling more secure and relaxed.
Moreover
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, many corporate organisations offer perks and incentives in the form of money for long-term employees.
For instance
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, in Melbourne, some sales companies provide extra annual bonuses for their managers with a potential increase over the years.
Accordingly
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,
this
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builds loyalty towards the organisations
along with
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encouraging people to improve their professional skills.
On the other hand
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, experiencing a variety of opportunities offers a great chance to discover interesting working possibilities and to challenge yourself. When individuals try themselves in different fields,
this
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helps to explore a range of topics and to build new relationships.
Furthermore
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, challenging situations,
such
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as performing at the interview, joining new communities and even being rejected, lead to better motivation and a desire to grow.
For example
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, for those who
work
Wrong verb form
have worked
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exclusively in marketing for several years, taking on a role in project management could provide valuable insights and enhance problem-solving skills. In conclusion, there are benefits for both life-long jobs and short-term positions.
However
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, from my perspective, trying new career opportunities expands humans' abilities intellectually and emotionally, and sometimes puts them into uncomfortable environments. By managing
this
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, people stimulate themselves to improve their social and professional abilities and
also
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realise their true desires and preferences in life.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a decently structured logical flow with an introduction and conclusion; however, some transitions between ideas can be better improved to enhance the coherence. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to develop your main points more thoroughly and include a variety of linking phrases to demonstrate flexibility and range in your writing.
task achievement
Your response addresses all parts of the task, yet the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For a higher score, you need to elaborate more on your ideas with fully developed argumentation.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed clearly for the most part, but the response lacks depth and the ideas could be expressed more comprehensively with richer elaboration and detail.
task achievement
While you have made an effort to include examples, they are relatively generic. Specific and relevant examples that are directly linked to your main points will strengthen your argument and increase the task achievement score.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Organisational loyalty
  • Career longevity
  • Professional development
  • Skill diversification
  • Cultural adaptability
  • Professional network
  • Work-life balance
  • Job stability
  • Career mobility
  • Career trajectory
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