Some people work for the same organisation for a lifetime. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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With an increasing number of new industries and job opportunities, there is a split in opinions on whether individuals should stick to

one

Use synonyms

occupation for a life period or not.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore both positions and provide my personal opinion

at the end

Linking Words

To begin

Linking Words

with, having

one

Use synonyms

job for a whole life provides stability and financial benefits.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the employee who works for only

one

Use synonyms

company for a lifetime period

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

contributes their all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional skills to just

one

Use synonyms

company.

This

Linking Words

means that these workers avoid the pressure of changing a job, feeling more secure and relaxed.

Moreover

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, many corporate organisations offer perks and incentives in the form of money for long-term employees.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Melbourne, some sales companies provide extra annual bonuses for their managers with a potential increase over the years.

Accordingly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

builds loyalty towards the organisations

along with

Linking Words

encouraging people to improve their professional skills.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, experiencing a variety of opportunities offers a great chance to discover interesting working possibilities and to challenge yourself. When individuals try themselves in different fields,

this

Linking Words

helps to explore a range of topics and to build new relationships.

Furthermore

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, challenging situations,

such

Linking Words

as performing at the interview, joining new communities and even being rejected, lead to better motivation and a desire to grow.

For example

Linking Words

, for those who

work

Wrong verb form

have worked

show examples

exclusively in marketing for several years, taking on a role in project management could provide valuable insights and enhance problem-solving skills. In conclusion, there are benefits for both life-long jobs and short-term positions.

However

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, from my perspective, trying new career opportunities expands humans' abilities intellectually and emotionally, and sometimes puts them into uncomfortable environments. By managing

this

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, people stimulate themselves to improve their social and professional abilities and

also

Linking Words

realise their true desires and preferences in life.

innakireeva0101Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a decently structured logical flow with an introduction and conclusion; however, some transitions between ideas can be better improved to enhance the coherence. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful.

coherence cohesion

You should aim to develop your main points more thoroughly and include a variety of linking phrases to demonstrate flexibility and range in your writing.

task achievement

Your response addresses all parts of the task, yet the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For a higher score, you need to elaborate more on your ideas with fully developed argumentation.

task achievement

Ideas are expressed clearly for the most part, but the response lacks depth and the ideas could be expressed more comprehensively with richer elaboration and detail.

task achievement

While you have made an effort to include examples, they are relatively generic. Specific and relevant examples that are directly linked to your main points will strengthen your argument and increase the task achievement score.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Organisational loyalty
Career longevity
Professional development
Skill diversification
Cultural adaptability
Professional network
Work-life balance
Job stability
Career mobility
Career trajectory

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Some people work for the same organisation for a lifetime. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that governments should spend money on the arts. Others assert that this money should be used to improve public services and infrastructure.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

More and more people are opting for readymade food intead of freshly home cooked food. Discuss advantageous and disadvantages?