Some people work for the same organisation for a lifetime. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
With an increasing number of new industries and job opportunities, there is a split in opinions on whether individuals should stick to
one
occupation for a life period or not. Use synonyms
This
essay will explore both positions and provide my personal opinion Linking Words
at the end
.
Linking Words
To begin
with, having Linking Words
one
job for a whole life provides stability and financial benefits. Use synonyms
Firstly
, the employee who works for only Linking Words
one
company for a lifetime periodUse synonyms
,
contributes their all Remove the comma
apply
the
professional skills to just Correct article usage
apply
one
company. Use synonyms
This
means that these workers avoid the pressure of changing a job, feeling more secure and relaxed. Linking Words
Moreover
, many corporate organisations offer perks and incentives in the form of money for long-term employees. Linking Words
For instance
, in Melbourne, some sales companies provide extra annual bonuses for their managers with a potential increase over the years. Linking Words
Accordingly
, Linking Words
this
builds loyalty towards the organisations Linking Words
along with
encouraging people to improve their professional skills.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, experiencing a variety of opportunities offers a great chance to discover interesting working possibilities and to challenge yourself. When individuals try themselves in different fields, Linking Words
this
helps to explore a range of topics and to build new relationships. Linking Words
Furthermore
, challenging situations, Linking Words
such
as performing at the interview, joining new communities and even being rejected, lead to better motivation and a desire to grow. Linking Words
For example
, for those who Linking Words
work
exclusively in marketing for several years, taking on a role in project management could provide valuable insights and enhance problem-solving skills.
In conclusion, there are benefits for both life-long jobs and short-term positions. Wrong verb form
have worked
However
, from my perspective, trying new career opportunities expands humans' abilities intellectually and emotionally, and sometimes puts them into uncomfortable environments. By managing Linking Words
this
, people stimulate themselves to improve their social and professional abilities and Linking Words
also
realise their true desires and preferences in life.Linking Words
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a decently structured logical flow with an introduction and conclusion; however, some transitions between ideas can be better improved to enhance the coherence. Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to develop your main points more thoroughly and include a variety of linking phrases to demonstrate flexibility and range in your writing.
task achievement
Your response addresses all parts of the task, yet the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For a higher score, you need to elaborate more on your ideas with fully developed argumentation.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed clearly for the most part, but the response lacks depth and the ideas could be expressed more comprehensively with richer elaboration and detail.
task achievement
While you have made an effort to include examples, they are relatively generic. Specific and relevant examples that are directly linked to your main points will strengthen your argument and increase the task achievement score.