Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? what are the main consequences of this issue?
At present,
obesity
among people
has increased more than before. According to
my viewpoint, among the primary causes of obesity
, sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy food habits of people
are responsible for that which results in an overall
damage to public health
.
A major proportion of people
of all ages are suffering from obesity
. The principal reason for the increase in obesity
is that most people
are reluctant to go out and do physical exercise. Instead
, they prefer to sit idle at home and most importantly, this
lifestyle has limited their physical movement which is one of the most remarkable reasons for their being overweight. For example
, according to
a survey, around 60 percent of people
in Correct article usage
the Uk
Uk
are living a lethargic lifestyle of coming and going to their workplace and the rest of the time spending time at home. Correct your spelling
UK
Moreover
, people
especially the young generation mostly depend on fast food which is unhealthy because of its lots of calories, sugar and salt intake. However
, these foods are loved by people
despite their harmful effects on public health
.
The major consequence of being overweight is the whole public health
is suffering. The wellbeing
of Correct your spelling
well-being
people
and community
Correct article usage
the community
affects
a lot because of Wrong verb form
is affected
obesity
. For example
, people
suffering from diseases like hypertension, diabetes
and even the young generation are Correct word choice
and diabetes
also
affected by this
issue and the
public Correct article usage
apply
health
gets damaged. Being obese also
reduces their productivity and it eventually affects the economy and society. For example
, if the most productive people
are getting sick because of obesity
and cannot work and provide their best in the workplace there is no doubt that the economy will be definitely affected.
In conclusion, being overweight is not just a health
problem rather it is a social problem because of its detrimental effect on society and economy. Since people
's lifestyle is the primary cause of being obese we should control that at first.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
In terms of task response, the essay attempts to cover both causes and consequences, but it lacks development in terms of depth and breadth. To improve the task response, it is necessary to fully address all parts of the prompt more completely. Ensure that each point you make is expanded upon with further explanation or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a sufficient level of coherence and cohesion, with an identifiable structure including an introduction and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be smoother, and the organization of ideas can be improved. Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is well-developed. Avoid repeating the same ideas and ensure a logical progression throughout.