Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? It is a possible or negative development?

#countries #tourist #industries #case #development

Nowadays,

tourist

industries

are currently being expanded in many developing

countries

. The following paragraphs of

this

essay will talk about the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

trend and

also

give the reasons why it is a possible

development

Tourist

industries

are beneficial for many developing

countries

. One of the main merits is that

tourist

industries

play a significant part in economic

growth

and

development

This

can be explained that for developing

countries

which do not have enough

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

to develop their IT

industries

or others, but they have potential

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

beautiful scenery and nature, they can use

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

advantages to promote

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic

growth

. I mean, nowadays

tourist

industries

gradually becoming more and more developed;

hence

, those developing nations will attract a large number of tourists, especially foreigners which can support

that

Change the determiner

that country

those countries

show examples

countries

to increase the rate of economic

growth

Furthermore

, I believe

this

development

is a positive aspect

Change preposition

show examples

dwellers

Change noun form

dwellers'

dweller's

show examples

living conditions because it helps many developing

countries

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

improve their residents’ living standards,

property

Correct word choice

and property

show examples

This

is because the government use the money which the tourists pay for accommodation, service, food, etc to build schools, hospitals, etc to enhance living standards. In conclusion, I would have to say that

tourist

industries

play an important role in the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

economic

growth

and I believe that the

development

brings positive aspects to those developing

countries

Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a singular main idea and develops it thoroughly before moving on to a new point. Your essay introduced relevant points, but some were not fully elaborated, which affected the overall support of your main points.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with grammatical structures and strive for a range of complex sentence forms. This will improve the logical flow and the clarity of your ideas. Use linking words effectively to create cohesion within and across paragraphs.

task achievement

Ensure that you address all parts of the task. The essay prompt asks for reasons for the expansion of tourist industries and whether it is positive or negative. You have addressed both components, but make sure your conclusion clearly encapsulates these discussions by directly stating if the development is positive or negative.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas by providing specific examples that support your points. This not only strengthens your arguments but also shows your ability to relate abstract ideas to real-world scenarios. The inclusion of more developed examples would give your essay more depth and interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? It is a possible or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Crime rates are increasing in the recent years in all countries and it is becoming more violent . Why do you think is? What can be done for it?

While some believe that the best way to learn about current events is through newspapers, others think that they can learn news better through other forms of media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Currently, majority of people are willing to travel around the world to visit the sight seeying places because it is much more easier now as apposed to past. There are several benefits of tourism and there are outweigh the drawbacks.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?