IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondry school.do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantage?

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It is believed by some authorities that learning a new
language
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 at
very
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a very
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 young age is better compared to secondary school.
This
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 trend has both merits and demerits.
According to
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 my point of view, I think that despite some shortcomings, it has
beneficial
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been beneficial
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 in numerous ways.
Firstly
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, a lot of
researches
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research
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 show that kids have
more
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a more
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 agile mind and incomparable level of curiosity that undoubtedly help them do it easier.
Furthermore
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, in
the
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apply
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childhood developing cognitive skills and improving
language
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 proficiently are achieved from scratch with less embarrassment.
For instance
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, most
adult
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adults
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 more often feel awkward about their speaking skills than children and
as a
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result
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result,
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 it prevents their growing up.
Secondly
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, primary school kids have plenty of time and energy to focus on learning and
practicing
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practising
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 their new skills.
Thus
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, knowledge of foreign
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 can be advantageous in many ways.
On the other hand
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, some critics believe that pupils can be confused between their mother tongue and another.
Or
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For
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for example
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, sometimes children can
chouse
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choose
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 and prefer the
language
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is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 most convenient and easy to learn and pronounce from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood and it will not always be the one
that is
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 native to
parents
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their parents
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.
In addition
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, it may not be useful in the future for
this
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 category of people who do not wish to move to other countries. In conclusion, the fact that early foreign
language
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 learning leads to improving brain functions, gives a lot of job opportunities in the future and
also
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exploring
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explores
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 the world.
Therefore
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, I believe that
advantages
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the advantages
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 of
this
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 phenomenon outweigh and disadvantages.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly respond to the task prompt. The conclusion you presented touched upon the main points, but it could more explicitly restate the merits of early language learning compared to the drawbacks.
logical structure
Use a logical structure to improve the coherence of your argument. Present each point in a new paragraph and use clear topic sentences to improve readability. Make sure you connect the ideas clearly, which will help in achieving better coherence.
supported main points
To support your main points, remember to include relevant examples or data. Avoid general statements, and instead, use specific instances that demonstrate the argument you are making. This will enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
complete response
While you addressed the task, it is important to fully develop your argument to completely respond to the question. Consider expanding on the advantages and disadvantages by providing in-depth analysis and bolstering the argument with more detailed examples or explanations.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. This includes the use of appropriate vocabulary, varied sentence structures, and the development of ideas. Work on refining your explanations and examples to make your position clear to the reader.
relevant specific examples
To improve relevance and specificity, include concrete examples that are closely related to the topic and effectively illustrate your points. Avoid hypothetical or general examples and aim to use real-world scenarios to make your argument more compelling and your response more complete.
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