Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #behavior #children #right #parents #ones

Children

have to learn how to behave properly. From how to speak properly to how to eat with good manners. But not every person is getting

teached

Correct your spelling

taught

show examples

sach

Correct your spelling

such

things

from

Change preposition

show examples

their

Parents

. Some

parents

have

full time

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

jobs so they can’t teach their

children

such

things. Or the

parents

themselves have never really learned it. I am the appointment that it is not the

teacher

's job to teach their

children

such

things. I agree that not every child has the opportunity to learn how to behave properly. Some

parents

don’t have the time to look after their

children

because they have to work. So it is easier for them to give their

children

into

Change preposition

show examples

school and they can go to work with the thought that their child learns everything in school. But because they are all alone at home and can do what they want it is hard to teach them that. But I disagree more because the

parents

have to get a person that can teach them properly.

That is

better than the

teacher

in school who can’t even focus on each student in class. should be

also

teaching them how to behave properly. Some

children

are not even listening to what the

teacher

says so how

Change the verb form

does

show examples

the

teacher

teach them that? Some

children

respect just their

parents

, which is not good but the truth. To come to an end

parents

are responsible for their

children

and

also

how to teach their

children

how to behave properly. It could make the life of the

parents

easier.

Submitted by z.pfister on Mon Dec 04 2023

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Introduction

The essay lacks a clear introduction with a thesis statement that indicates the writer's position. A well-defined introduction would provide a brief overview of the argument and clearly state whether the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement.

Development of Ideas

The arguments presented are not fully developed and lack sophistication. A higher band score requires the integration of complex ideas with detailed examples and explanations reflecting a deep engagement with the topic.

Topic Focus

The essay does not maintain a consistent focus on the topic and strays into irrelevant areas. Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear central theme that directly relates to the task.

Conclusion

The essay should end with a strong conclusion summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer's stance. The current conclusion is weak and does not effectively encapsulate the writer's position, which undermines the final impression.

Cohesive Devices

There is a lack of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. Utilize a range of linking words to improve the flow of the essay.

Paragraph Structure

Paragraph structure needs refinement, as each paragraph should contain a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea presented.

Language Use

There are several instances of inappropriate or inaccurate vocabulary usage and grammatical errors that hinder clarity. To improve the score, pay more attention to word choice and grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to right and wrong. Parents should not only be the ones responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Housing is essential for people. Some people argue that the government should offer free housing for peope who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.