Some people thinkt hat resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #thinkt #hat #resources #animals #population

I believe that both animals and humans are important.

However

, these resources should be allocated carefully by considering the impact it has on our daily lives,

while

also

perserving

Correct your spelling

preserving

the general well-being of the faunas. There are several key considerations we should factor in, which will be discussed in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

below. Our society faces numerous difficult obstacles which have yet to be solved to

this

day.

For instance

, problems

such

as hunger, limited access to clean water, poverty, illness, and much more,

requires

Correct subject-verb agreement

require

show examples

extensive budget and attention from the government as these issues are affecting the daily lives of people.

Therefore

, using the budget to take care of wild animals

instead

may seem insignificant.

However

, it's not only the lives of mankind that

matters

Correct subject-verb agreement

matter

show examples

, we should practice

compassionate

Replace the word

compassion

show examples

with other beings as well. After all, we must not forget, that we too are part of the animal kingdom and it is within our duty to

perserve

Correct your spelling

preserve

the natural beings that

born

Add a missing verb

are born

show examples

this

planet too. In conclusion,

while

I do believe that major problems which people experience all over the world deserve more attention,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should not shadow the cause to

perserve

Correct your spelling

preserve

and protect the endangered wild

lifes

Correct your spelling

life

lives

. Mankind would not be here, if not for other beings.

Submitted by anindya.khansalihara on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a logical flow between introduction, body, and conclusion. The essay sometimes seems disjointed, which affects the conveyance of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined. The initial position is not easily discernible, nor is the concluding statement strongly restated.

coherence cohesion

Develop and support your main points with specific details or examples. There is a lack of concrete examples backing up the stated points, which would make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task. While you have discussed the importance of both animal conservation and human welfare, there is a need for greater balance and elaboration on each view to fully satisfy the prompt.

task achievement

Ideas regarding the significance and impact of the resource allocation need to be more comprehensive and fleshed out with clear rationale.

task achievement

Include relevant examples to support your viewpoints. The use of specific examples can effectively illustrate and strengthen your arguments, but they were notably lacking in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people thinkt hat resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you thik the advantages of driveless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funds from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree? Outline

Some people believe that university education is essential if people have a successful life, while others think that nowadays this is not true. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+