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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The subjects that children are taught in schools are chosen by central authorities .Some people say that teachers not politicians should be responsible for this task to what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#subjects #children #schools #authorities #people #teachers #politicians
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Some
people
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 believe that educational
activities
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 should be included in
children
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's free
time
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,
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otherwise
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otherwise,
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 they will waste their
time
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.It is an undeniable fact that
children
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's free
time
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 should be used for educational purposes. Some
people
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 believe that any
activities
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 other than these services are a waste of
time
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the preceding statement and conclude with my opinion.
To begin
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 with, some
people
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 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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’s leisure
time
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 should be spent engaging in educational
activities
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such
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 as critical thinking, problem-solving skills, and debate participation. For starters, these
activities
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 will not only boost students' intellectual stamina but will
also
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 help them improve their problem-solving abilities in a variety of ways.
According to
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 the latest research of scientists, it has been proven that
children
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 who in their free
time
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 are engaged in various brain development gatherings and
activities
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 have a higher level of thinking abilities and are smarter than other
people
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.It is believed that someone who has been improving
the
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their
his
her
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 brain and thinking abilities from a young age will be inclined to find simple solutions to various problems that he will face in the future. So, with all of these encouraging signs, the majority of the population has decided to enroll their
children
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 in any educational
activities
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 that will prepare them to participate in these
secessions
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sessions
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.
As a result
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, learners will quickly grasp any concept taught.
Furthermore
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, we can see that more educational institutions have adopted these actions in order to utilize students' free
time
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while
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 carrying out these
secessions
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sessions
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. In conclusion, if parents from an early age make their
children
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 a habit of playing brainstorming, brainstorming or going to various gatherings in their free
time
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, and if their
children
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 love these things voluntarily, they can easily overcome any situation or problem in the future.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that ideas are organized in a clear and logical manner with appropriate paragraphing. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure the progression of ideas enhances the readability of the essay.
task achievement
In terms of task response, ensure you address all parts of the prompt sufficiently. You should provide a clearer stance on the issue, expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples, and fully develop each point to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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