IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is an idea, according to which that with more and more people using the internet and messaging, the communication in the real world will cease to exist.

#idea #people #internet #communication #world
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There is an idea,
according to
 which that with more and more
people
 using the internet and messaging,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication in the real world will cease to exist. I partly agree with
this
 opinion and will discuss in
this
 essay the favouring arguments and ones, that oppose the statement. In the
end
Add a comma
end,
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 a judgement will be made based on them.
Although
 I mostly disagree with
this
 opinion, there are factors that are in favour
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it.
Firstly
, there is an advantage to communicating online - it can be done anywhere and anytime.
This
 means that there is no point for friends to arrange their
meets
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meetings
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,
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apply
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 since they can use their smartphones to talk with each other.
Secondly
, the population
in
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on
show examples
 the
worldwide
Correct your spelling
world wide
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 web has a wider spectrum of interests.
This
 makes it easier and more likely for a particular individual to find a friend with a lot of mutual hobbies. Both of
the
Correct your spelling
these
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 factors lead to
people
 preferring to use
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
 over
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
.
On the other hand
, there are arguments, which are not in line with the statement.
To begin
 with,
people
 often do not find texting or video-calling as engaging, as they do find
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 talk to be.
For instance
,
although
 I have
contacts
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contact
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 with a friend
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 lives in Moscow, I have talked with him there and found more enjoyment and
fullfillment
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fulfilment
 in that conversation, despite the fact that I needed to book a flight.
Additionally
, in order for all conversations in one's life to occur online, that person needs to stay home all day. Fortunately or not, the majority of
human
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the human
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 population is not ready to do that.
For instance
, during the
quaranting
Correct your spelling
quarantine
quarantining
 that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
due to
coronavirus
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the coronavirus
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 pandemic, a lot of
people
 complained about it and wished to go outside.
Therefore
, many
of
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apply
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individuals have to communicate with others outside of their gadgets no matter what. It is true that
people
 are leaning towards technology as the way to talk with one another,
however
, the latter two arguments show, that
this
 method of communicating will not replace
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apply
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the
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apply
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traditional conversations completely.
Submitted by alexander.vectorgs on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction presents the topic clearly and your thesis statement reflects your opinion unequivocally. Avoid ambiguities and grammatical inaccuracies.
logical structure
Organize your paragraphs effectively, using a clear topic sentence to begin each one and maintain focus on that singular idea throughout the paragraph.
supports
Support main points with concrete, relevant examples to illustrate your arguments. Avoid hypothetical situations if not backed with clear examples.
conclusion
Maintain a balance in developing both sides of the argument before arriving at a well-supported conclusion. Ensure the conclusion succinctly summarizes your overall stance.
cohesive devices
Engage in using a range of cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs. However, be cautious not to overuse them which may affect readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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