It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car fridge and tv do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages
Undoubtedly, in
this
modern era, a number of modifications have taken place in the nation. Due to
this
, everyone wants to own a technical device such
as a car, fridge or TV. Thus
, the disadvantages to the community outweigh as far more than the advantages.
Firstly
, several factors are associated with it, but the main one is the lack of exercise. To illustrate, nowadays individuals spend their quality time watching TV, smartphones and many more. Which can hold the attention of the people. With this
, they are suffering from different health hazards such
as obesity, poor eyesight and muscle pain. Also
, it keeps people far away because when they invest a long hour on screen they do not have time to speak evening with their family. This
leads to conflicts between them because of a lack of communication. Therefore
, not only does
technical gadgets weaken the bonding of family members, but they Change the verb form
do
also
cause environmental problems. For instance
, in this
21st century, everyone wants to own their personal card, and due to
this
emissions of toxic gases are increasing at an alarming rate such
as carbon dioxide and other
.
Correct pronoun usage
others
Secondly
, the fridge is a very crucial gadget which can contain all sorts of food for a week. To explain, a survey was conducted by Cambridge University which concluded that nearly 70 per cent of individuals are working and they prefer to cook their food in advance and store it in the refrigerator for a long time. Apart from
this
, televisions are a source of enjoyment and they also
help to entertain family members without going out. Last
but not least, in bygone days, the masses faced difficulties in traveling
from one place to another, but now navigating become easier with the help of cars.
Change the spelling
travelling
To conclude
, although
technical developments such
as cars, TV and fridges make individuals' lives easier, they also
have detrimental effects on nature as well as
on human being's health.Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay should have a clear logical structure, which includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have included these components but they should be more distinct and well-developed. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by an explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
To score higher in Coherence and Cohesion, make sure you use a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas, as well as paragraphing to clearly separate your points. This will make your essay easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Your response must directly address all parts of the task. Make sure you cover both the advantages and disadvantages of owning technology like cars, fridges, and TVs. While you mentioned both sides, the response needs to present a more balanced discussion.
Task Achievement
Ideas should be explained and developed comprehensively. Spend time expanding your key points with clear details and relevant examples. This can be done by incorporating additional facts, figures, or real-life examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Your essay should include clear examples that are directly related to the topic and demonstrate a deeper level of analysis.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...