It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car fridge and tv do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages

#car #fridge #tv #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Undoubtedly, in

this

Linking Words

modern era, a number of modifications have taken place in the nation.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, everyone wants to own a technical device

such

Linking Words

as a car, fridge or TV.

Thus

Linking Words

, the disadvantages to the community outweigh as far more than the advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, several factors are associated with it, but the main one is the lack of exercise. To illustrate, nowadays individuals spend their quality time watching TV, smartphones and many more. Which can hold the attention of the people. With

this

Linking Words

, they are suffering from different health hazards

such

Linking Words

as obesity, poor eyesight and muscle pain.

Also

Linking Words

, it keeps people far away because when they invest a long hour on screen they do not have time to speak evening with their family.

This

Linking Words

leads to conflicts between them because of a lack of communication.

Therefore

Linking Words

, not only

does

Change the verb form

show examples

technical gadgets weaken the bonding of family members, but they

also

Linking Words

cause environmental problems.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

21st century, everyone wants to own their personal card, and

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

emissions of toxic gases are increasing at an alarming rate

such

Linking Words

as carbon dioxide and

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, the fridge is a very crucial gadget which can contain all sorts of food for a week. To explain, a survey was conducted by Cambridge University which concluded that nearly 70 per cent of individuals are working and they prefer to cook their food in advance and store it in the refrigerator for a long time.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, televisions are a source of enjoyment and they

also

Linking Words

help to entertain family members without going out.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, in bygone days, the masses faced difficulties in

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

from one place to another, but now navigating become easier with the help of cars.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

technical developments

such

Linking Words

as cars, TV and fridges make individuals' lives easier, they

also

Linking Words

have detrimental effects on nature

as well as

Linking Words

on human being's health.

Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on Mon Dec 04 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay should have a clear logical structure, which includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have included these components but they should be more distinct and well-developed. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by an explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion

To score higher in Coherence and Cohesion, make sure you use a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas, as well as paragraphing to clearly separate your points. This will make your essay easier to follow.

Task Achievement

Your response must directly address all parts of the task. Make sure you cover both the advantages and disadvantages of owning technology like cars, fridges, and TVs. While you mentioned both sides, the response needs to present a more balanced discussion.

Task Achievement

Ideas should be explained and developed comprehensively. Spend time expanding your key points with clear details and relevant examples. This can be done by incorporating additional facts, figures, or real-life examples to support your arguments.

Task Achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Your essay should include clear examples that are directly related to the topic and demonstrate a deeper level of analysis.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
A magazine wants to include contributions from its readers for an article called ‘The book that influenced me most'. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine about the book that influenced you most. In your letter -describe what this book was about -explain how this book influenced you -say whether this book would be likely to influence other people
I want to give this letter to you due to your announcement about 'The book that influences me a lot'
4
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both themanyse views and give you own opinion
Over the last two or three decades, transportation has developed more tremendously than ever before. Some claim that the authority should allocate a plethora of money on building new fast railway lines between cities while others opine that money should be spent on improving the public transport. I agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
6
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil, or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
An increasing number of individuals nowadays are opting to write with pens, pencils or brushes. The advancement of technology is the main reason for this event and I believe that this improvement has positive aspects.
7.5
band
ome people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often said that music has the power to unite and connect people, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with this view, and will give my reasons below.
7
band
You have just moved to a new place. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter. -tell him/her you moved and why you moved -describe the new place -invite your friend to visit and suggest what to do.
I hope you have been well. I am writing to let you know that I've relocated to a new place. I'd tell you the reason why needed to do so and I feel sorry that you were not told by me about this.

It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car fridge and tv do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both themanyse views and give you own opinion

ome people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You have just moved to a new place. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter. -tell him/her you moved and why you moved -describe the new place -invite your friend to visit and suggest what to do.