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Band 4

Some people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time to ensure better opportunities in the future. Others are of the opinion, job during study distracts the individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #idea #students #work #opportunities #future #job #study #distracts
Skills
is
Change the verb form
are
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 cardinal role play in life
for
Change preposition
to
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increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 their opportunities in
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time. Many people believe it is a good idea for students to work part-time is better
while
 others
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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say
during
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the job
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will distract the individual. My views
both
Add a missing verb
are both
show examples
 positive and opinion based in upcoming
paragraphas
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
. It is a logical conclusion. To
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a clear, logical structure. Your introduction should present the topic and briefly outline the main points that will be discussed. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and sentences should flow logically from one to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to manage the relationships between ideas and paragraphs. This includes using linking phrases, pronouns, and conjunctions to help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Be sure you fully respond to all parts of the task. In this case, both views should be discussed evenly and your own opinion should be clearly stated and extended upon. You should not only state your opinion but also provide support for it, such as reasons or examples.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas thoroughly and ideally provide specific examples to illustrate and support your points. This will help in fully addressing the task and making your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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