It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In the competitive world nowadays, people inevitably confront many difficulties and are encouraged to take

risks

Use synonyms

in daily life.

While

Linking Words

there are certain advantages to these uncertainties, it is still essential to acknowledge some negative impacts. From my perspective, facing challenges brings more benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. First and foremost, one of the advantages of facing

risks

Use synonyms

is the potential for personal growth and development. When individuals are pushed to step out of their comfort zones, it leads to the impetus for them

such

Linking Words

as learning new skills, meeting new people, and gaining exciting experiences.

For example

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entrepreneurs who start their own brand-new businesses may have a chance to encounter various societies, develop leadership skills, or gain more confidence.

Moreover

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, the sense of accomplishment after they succeed in something can be an impulse that drives them to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

continuous self-development .

On the other hand

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, taking

risks

Use synonyms

also

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carries a significant disadvantage which is the possibility of failure. Certainly, confronting

risks

Use synonyms

does not always come with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success and the aftermaths are mostly detrimental

such

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as financial crisis, notorious reputation, or deficient confidence. Mainly

due to

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this

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reason, in the worst case, the majority of individuals are reluctant to confront uncertainty again after facing

such

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loss.

To conclude

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, despite the painful consequences caused by the collapse of doing something, the impacts on that person are far more valuable.

Therefore

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, in my opinion, I encourage individuals to face challenges, but they must balance between

cautions

Fix the agreement mistake

caution

show examples

and adventurous spirits as well.

atikan17042547

Dec 4, 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that subsequent sentences support that topic directly. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within paragraphs more effectively.

Task Achievement

Provide a more developed introduction and conclusion that clearly state your viewpoint and summarize your key arguments. Make sure to address all parts of the task and present a balanced view with well-developed responses.

Task Achievement

Use more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This helps to illustrate your points and makes them more convincing. Also, attempt to provide a wider variety of sentence structures to show a range of language skills.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

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