me believe that it is the reponsibility of the people to care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of environment. discuss both views and state your opinion.

#reponsibility #people #care #environment #government

The climate has been changing for many years and creating

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

for everyone. It is reckoned by some people that

to protect

Change the verb form

protecting

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the climate of

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

duty.

However

, it is considered by other pupils that it is mainly

obligation

Correct article usage

an obligation

show examples

of the local government.

This

essay will drive both perspectives and give a valid suggestion. In the modern era, a plethora of people

has

Change the verb form

have

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been using technology machines which are causing problems.

The motor

Correct article usage

Motor

show examples

vehicles are

being created

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

pollution in the atmosphere by the human. Fossil fuels are made by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cars which evolved into greenhouse gases.

Vehicles

Fix the agreement mistake

Vehicle

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polluts

Correct your spelling

pollution

harm

Correct subject-verb agreement

harms

show examples

our health and

contain

Correct subject-verb agreement

contains

show examples

greenhouse gases that cause climate change. Burning gasoline and diesel fuel

creats

Correct your spelling

creates

create

harmful byproducts like

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

carbon dioxide,carbon monoxide and nitrogen oxide.

In addition

, vehicles emit carbon dioxide, the most common human-caused greenhouse gas.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global warming has risen rapidly and affected the environment.

Furthermore

, Deforestation to

cleaning

Wrong verb form

clean

show examples

the forest from trees through human activities which are causing environmental problems. As we chop down trees for agriculture, infrastructure and settlements we disrupt the delicate ecosystem and

threatens

Correct subject-verb agreement

threaten

show examples

the plants and animals. The consequence of biodiversity loss of nature, many species and natural habitants

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are closer to extinction.

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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task achievement

While the essay begins to address the topic, it falls short of providing a balanced view of both perspectives. It is important to discuss both the role of individuals and the government in protecting the environment.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear progression of ideas. Use paragraphs effectively, each should have a clear topic, and transitions should be used to guide the reader between your points.

coherence cohesion

There is a lack of conclusion to summarize the essay's main points and state your opinion. The introduction and conclusion are both crucial for a complete essay structure.

task achievement

The essay provides general examples; however, more specific and relevant examples are required to effectively support the main points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

201 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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