IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, because of technological advancement
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,
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our way of life has been changed. Several
tools
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 are manufactured to
help
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make
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people
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 more convenient and comfortable.
On the other hand
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, a lot of
people
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 discuss that these devices make
people
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 lazy and sometimes have some negative consequences. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the negative and positive aspects of these issues, and
then
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 I will elaborate on my perspective in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, numerous populations have enjoyed these modern technologies, because they help them to do work in their house. In
modern
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the modern
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 era,
people
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 do not have time to finish their homework,
due to
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they
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the
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have
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apply
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multitude of busy work, and hurry up to achieve on deadline time.
Therefore
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,
this
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 group of
people
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 would like to welcome these
tools
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, and they have a positive experience with these accessories.
For example
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, a number of housekeepers have used washing machines or dishwashers to finish their work in the house.
In addition
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, they used communication devices to communicate with their friend.
Secondly
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, for some groups of
people
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, these modern items have brought difficulty
for
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in
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 working at home. One of the crucial reasons is the expense which they have to pay for
purchase
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the purchase
a purchase
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 and
maintain
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maintenance
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.
Furthermore
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, Some modern
tools
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 are very hard to use, even though they come from the user manual. In fact, sometimes the modern machine is broken ought to the user's lack of understanding of the manual.
For instance
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, a lot of
people
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 have been paying for repairing the
tools
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. In conclusion, it has both negative and positive views of modern machine users. Depending on one's perspective and one's experience. the positive aspects advise that these
tools
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 provide more convenience.
However
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, the other aspects confirm that
this
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 is an expensive accessory which they have to pay for .

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task achievement
The introduction should more explicitly address the prompt by directly stating whether technology reduces or increases stress.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with topic sentences that clearly introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a conclusion or transition.
task achievement
Avoid overly general statements by providing specific, clear examples that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay includes a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position in a different wording.
coherence cohesion
Improve lexical resource by utilizing a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition of words.
coherence cohesion
Ensure subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and the proper use of articles.
task achievement
Make your position clear throughout the essay. It is not enough to present both sides; you must also indicate your own stance on the issue.
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