It has been suggested that everyone in the world want to own a car,a tv and fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweighs??

Due to
advancements in science and technology, today each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
wants
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more personal vehicles,
Tvs
Correct your spelling
TVs
show examples
, and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fridges as their daily necessities things which were luxury
products
a few years ago. There are several advantages and
disadvantages
to
this
phenomenon but the
disadvantages
definitely outweigh the advantages.
To begin
with,
it is clear that
having an individual car,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and a fridge indicates good standards of
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. Because
people
work hard to fulfill their needs and achieve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
goals. Indeed
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
everyone's
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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to own
comfort
Correct article usage
the comfort
show examples
of life.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they are immensely interested in purchasing personal equipment.
Apart from
this
, when increasing the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
rich
products
as well as
general
products
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
manufacturing companies may start bulk production.
Consequently
, employment opportunities will increase
along with
economi
Correct your spelling
economic
growth for a country. On the downside, an excessive number of cars
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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terrible traffic congestion which
is disrupts
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disrupts
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our normal flow of life and
stuck
Wrong verb form
sticks
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our-self
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
on the roads.
Furthermore
, producing and maintaining these
luxuy
Correct your spelling
luxury
products
requires
Add an article
a
show examples
huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of fossil fuels which directly affects our environment. The most significant
disadvantages
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disadvantage
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are
worse
Correct word choice
worst
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impact on our health. Today
people
are more dependent on electronic usage rather than handmade.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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at present
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
totally rely on fridges, ovens, electric kettles, hotpots and so on which are dangerous for health. What is more some
people
are addicted to watching movies , series, online streaming etc. Which can lead
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
stress,
anxiety
Correct word choice
and anxiety
show examples
including various
of
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apply
show examples
disease
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diseases
show examples
.
Lastly
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Last
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but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least by avoiding sharing equipment like public transport, cinema theatres, manual preservation methods and others.
people
are becoming more unsocial and
disconnect
Wrong verb form
disconnected
show examples
from a harmonious culture.
To sum up
, I would reiterate my opinion,
although
there are a few upsides
neverthless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
the
disadvantages
clearly outweigh the advantages, so it is a negative development.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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