Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debt back. In your opinion, do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

#credit #card #people #debt #cards

These days, applying

and

Change preposition

for and

show examples

getting a credit

card

has become easier than before,

although

some individuals face difficulties when they are not able to pay their debt back. In my view point, they have more beneficial points than negatives, and in

this

essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples. First and foremost, one of the benefits of

this

is that it is safer than cash. What I mean by

this

is that you can deposit and save your money in it without worrying about it. Yet, it has password and other security options, which is more reliable than cash.

For instance

, if someone steals your

card

, they cannot use it, and

moreover

, you can discredit that

card

and get a new one from the bank. Another striking point of having

this

is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

you can purchase items from online shops or pay, without going to the bank.

In other words

, these cards have made our work quicker and easier.

For example

, many people order and buy their stuff from

Amazon

Correct article usage

the Amazon

show examples

website, which prevents them from travelling long distances.

As a result

, it helps individuals save more money and not waste them for transportation.

On the other hand

, there is an argument that some humans might see difficulties when they cannot pay back their debts.

This

is because when they are in debt, the bank automatically gets their money from their account when their income is paid.

As a consequence

, they cannot buy their essential needs which are food, drinks and others. The statistics demonstrate that over %60 of individuals, suffer from

this

issue. In conclusion, the circumstances for having a credit

card

have become so much easier than past. It has many benefits

such

as the security and online paying option,

however

, some issues are involved as well. In my view, despite the problems, it is a necessity for every person.

Submitted by Ah.mahdavi1365 on Mon Feb 05 2024

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task achievement

Refine the introduction by clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed in the essay. Provide a clear thesis statement that answers the question directly.

task achievement

Back up each main point with more specific and varied examples, data, or cases to strengthen the argument and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure by using a wider range of cohesive devices and linking words between sentences and paragraphs to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay and restates your position, demonstrating a clear final analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debt back. In your opinion, do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

The fact that enormous sums are paid for pieces of art is not acceptable at a time when many people around the world live in poverty. Discuss this statement and give your opinion