A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In today's world people by using more
of
social Change preposition
apply
network
and the internet are becoming more materialistic . So , they pay much more attention to the person's appearance than their Fix the agreement mistake
networks
personallity
. In my Correct your spelling
personality
oponion
, a person should be aware of considering both sides in her/his life which Correct your spelling
opinion
i'm
going to discuss in Change the capitalization
I'm
this
essay.
Firstly
, according to
my my personal experience in real life , when your
are meeting someone new for the first time your appearance shows your Correct pronoun usage
you
charecter
. For Correct your spelling
character
instence
, your outfit or even your Correct your spelling
instance
hair style
. It should be stylish and clean . So the speaker of your Correct your spelling
hairstyle
charecter
in Correct your spelling
character
first
site is the way you look. But it is not Change the article
the first
neseccery
to wear fancy clothes or accessories.
Correct your spelling
necessary
On the other hand
, If you want to apeal
as a gentleman or Correct your spelling
appeal
appear
women
you must behave correctly. So you have to be nice, well-spoken, kind and Fix the agreement mistake
woman
respectfull
in order to be treated as a high-valued person. Correct your spelling
respectful
respectfully
Also
you need to be Add a comma
Also,
trustfull
.So the people that are around you can rely on you which seems that few people pay attention to it these days. Correct your spelling
trustful
Also
, it may cause real problem
and trust issues in relationships.
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
As a result
, i
think Change the capitalization
I
sociaty
should consider these both sides rather than being materialistic.Because old-fashioned values Correct your spelling
society
Also
,
are one Remove the comma
apply
the
main structures that build Change preposition
of the
Correct article usage
a humen's
humen's
Change noun form
humen
personallity
.Correct your spelling
personality
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which is essential for the reader to follow your argument effectively. Make sure that your ideas are organized in a logical sequence, using paragraphs to distinguish between the introduction, main body, and conclusion of your text.
Coherence & Cohesion
The presence of an introduction and conclusion is crucial to frame your argument and summarize your main points. Your conclusion appears to be brief and does not effectively summarize the essay's argument. Develop a concise yet informative introduction and a conclusion that reiterates your main points and provides a clear final word on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are present but require further development and support. Remember to back up each point with relevant examples or explanations. Avoid making generalizations without providing evidence to substantiate your claims.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but it could benefit from a more complete response. Ensure that you address all aspects of the question and provide your opinion where it is asked for, particularly in 'to what extent do you agree or disagree' type questions.
Task Achievement
While some ideas are presented, they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Focus on clarity in your writing, avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring grammatical accuracy. This will help convey your ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Providing relevant, specific examples strengthens your argument and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. Incorporate examples that are directly related to the prompt to illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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