It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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Training
children
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plays a vital role in society. It is believed that
children
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should learn to differentiate between right and wrong from an early
age
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. They should be disciplined if they do something wrong; as
this
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method effectively teaches them to distinguish between good and evil deeds. In my opinion,
this
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statement is true. It is my view that the early years of childhood are crucial for learning how to behave and interact with others. From a psychological viewpoint,
children
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have the capacity to understand right from wrong during
this
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stage of development. They are ready to shape their characters and personalities.
Therefore
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, training from an early
age
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has extremely positive effects on their
overall
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development.
In contrast
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, some people claim that punishing
children
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at a young
age
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can have adverse effects. They claim that
children
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are sensitive and physically weak, making
punishment
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a bad idea.
However
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, I find
this
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argument unconvincing. If
punishment
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is not severe or corporal, it can be a useful tool for teaching
children
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. Numerous studies confirm that parents and teachers should avoid severe
punishment
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. I
further
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believe that corporal
punishment
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and severe forms of
punishment
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should be banned.
Instead
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, non-physical punishments
such
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as restricting television; or game privileges can be more appropriate. In conclusion, disciplining
children
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at an early
age
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can be beneficial in teaching them to distinguish between good and evil deeds. From my perspective,
punishment
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should not be physical or severe, as these types of
punishment
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have significantly negative effects on
children
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's mental well-being.
Therefore
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,
children
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can be disciplined by being restricted from certain activities
such
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as watching television or playing games.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

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task achievement
Your essay showed a clear position throughout and generally addressed the task prompt. However, you fell short in providing a comprehensive response to all parts of the task. Specifically, the second question about types of punishments parents and teachers should be allowed to use was not examined in detail. To improve your score, ensure you provide a balanced and developed response to all aspects of the question. Elaborate on the types of acceptable punishments more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structuring of the essay is satisfactory but can be further improved. Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to better organize ideas and arguments. This will aid in enhancing the overall coherence and flow of the essay. More varied sentence structures would also increase readability and cohesion. Be sure to clearly delineate your main points in separate paragraphs, providing supporting details for each.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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