It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Training
children
plays a vital role in society. It is believed that children
should learn to differentiate between right and wrong from an early age
. They should be disciplined if they do something wrong; as this
method effectively teaches them to distinguish between good and evil deeds. In my opinion, this
statement is true.
It is my view that the early years of childhood are crucial for learning how to behave and interact with others. From a psychological viewpoint, children
have the capacity to understand right from wrong during this
stage of development. They are ready to shape their characters and personalities. Therefore
, training from an early age
has extremely positive effects on their overall
development.
In contrast
, some people claim that punishing children
at a young age
can have adverse effects. They claim that children
are sensitive and physically weak, making punishment
a bad idea. However
, I find this
argument unconvincing. If punishment
is not severe or corporal, it can be a useful tool for teaching children
. Numerous studies confirm that parents and teachers should avoid severe punishment
.
I further
believe that corporal punishment
and severe forms of punishment
should be banned. Instead
, non-physical punishments such
as restricting television; or game privileges can be more appropriate.
In conclusion, disciplining children
at an early age
can be beneficial in teaching them to distinguish between good and evil deeds. From my perspective, punishment
should not be physical or severe, as these types of punishment
have significantly negative effects on children
's mental well-being. Therefore
, children
can be disciplined by being restricted from certain activities such
as watching television or playing games.Submitted by mirhashemim7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay showed a clear position throughout and generally addressed the task prompt. However, you fell short in providing a comprehensive response to all parts of the task. Specifically, the second question about types of punishments parents and teachers should be allowed to use was not examined in detail. To improve your score, ensure you provide a balanced and developed response to all aspects of the question. Elaborate on the types of acceptable punishments more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The logical structuring of the essay is satisfactory but can be further improved. Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to better organize ideas and arguments. This will aid in enhancing the overall coherence and flow of the essay. More varied sentence structures would also increase readability and cohesion. Be sure to clearly delineate your main points in separate paragraphs, providing supporting details for each.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.