4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?

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The master’s degree will benefit me in acquiring a comprehensive understanding of the financial area, quantitative skills, and engaging in real-world applications.

This

Linking Words

will enable me to excel in the financial industry by applying innovative strategies and effective decision-making. The real-world cases that the

program

Use synonyms

offers will prepare me for the intricacies of financial markets, by exposing me to different scenarios, and will equip me with the necessary skills to formulate strategies and make problem-solving effectively. After finishing the master I plan to work in investment banking, where I aim to garner valuable experience.

This

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is a strategic step toward my ultimate goal of establishing my own successful company in the future. The

program

Use synonyms

offers a detailed curriculum that covers essential courses relevant to investment banking. About my long-term goal of creating a company, it is important to know about various aspects, including market situation, market analysis, operations, and financial management. The

program

Use synonyms

will equip me with the requisite knowledge to comprehend these critical elements and apply them effectively in a practical setting.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, by the knowledge and experiences gained through the

program

Use synonyms

, I am posed to make a positive impact in the business field, contributing to the success of my effort.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay provides a logical structure but could benefit from clearer transitions and better logical linkage between ideas. To improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs flow naturally from one to the next.

coherence cohesion

You present an introduction and conclusion, but they could be made more impactful by clearly stating your main idea in the introduction and summarizing key points in the conclusion. Aim to make your position or stance on the topic stand out for greater effect.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported, but the support could be more specific and detailed. Include concrete examples and evidence to strengthen each point. More in-depth analysis will also contribute to a fuller development of ideas.

task achievement

You've provided a complete response to the task with a broad coverage of ideas related to the positive impact of your degree. To enhance your performance, elaborate on these ideas to fully address the prompt, perhaps by including how you would specifically apply your knowledge to create a positive impact and measurable outcomes.

task achievement

The ideas are clear but could be further expanded to create a more comprehensive understanding. Dig deeper into the reasons behind your goals and how your degree equips you specifically for investment banking and entrepreneurship.

task achievement

While the essay contains relevant examples, including more specific and varied examples related to how your studies would translate into real-world impact will strengthen this aspect of the response. Think about adding quantitative data or hypothetical scenarios that demonstrate the application of your degree.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?

Fully explain your ideas

More people are now behaving more violently in society than before. Can this behaviour be prevented? Discuss the causes and reasons for this trend. Provide examples to support your opinion.

In some cities, people are choosing cars instead of bicycles, while in other cities riding bikes is Which development do you think is better?replacing cars. Why is this the case?

Nowadays both scientists and tourists can go to remote natural environments such asthe South Pole. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

You recently stayed in a hotel and left an item in the room. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: ● describe the item that you left in the room ● explain where you think the item might be ● suggest how the manager can return the item to you

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?