4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact? 4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?

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Since the moment my parents arrived in Spain, they have been establishing businesses and shops.

Due to

Linking Words

their challenges in communicating in Spanish, I assumed the role of translator from the age of 5. Growing up in

this

Linking Words

environment, I acquired valuable insights into the intricacies of business establishment and operations. My parents hadn’t studied university and did not know how to decide what sector or field was profitable, but after tries, they started to understand how things worked. As I was “working” with them, I

also

Linking Words

started to know that establishing a

company

Use synonyms

was not easy.

Therefore

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, in the short term, after finishing the course, I would like to work in a large

company

Use synonyms

. I recognize the need for a more profound understanding of the financial domain, since my academic background includes courses related to finance, but is not enough for me to specialize in investment banking and have my own

company

Use synonyms

Thus

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, there is a need to expand my knowledge and insights to ensure success in

this

Linking Words

area. Despite my involvement in assisting my parents in launching new businesses in recent years, there are similar activities, decisions, and analyses that I need to make in the moment of establishing my own

company

Use synonyms

. Professional experience is important to enforce my knowledge and understand how companies work so that I can succeed in a more distant future, and I can establish an international reputation.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve your score, make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should progress logically from one to the next, with clear sentences that support your main points. Use a variety of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance flow and clarity.

task achievement

Your essay partially addresses the prompt but could more directly answer the question of how you will use your degree for positive impact. Make sure your response is directly related to the task throughout the essay. Include specific examples of how your degree will enable you to achieve your goals and ensure that your ideas are fully developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact? 4.How would you use your degree to make a positive impact?

Fully explain your ideas

In the present era, children have fewer responsibilities than in the past. Some people consider this as a positive development, others see it as a negative trend. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Particular cultures are under threat nowdays due to the fact that we are living in a global village.What do you think can be done to protect a society's traditional values and cultures?

A study shows that women may need more care than men. To what extent do you agree with it?