Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some
people
consider that students have to pay their own tuition fees
instead
of requiring the
government
to support them. I personally disagree with the statement as the executive would still provide a fund even though only a few
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of the price.
To begin
with, pursuing higher
education
not only makes
people
have a better life but
only
Rephrase
also
show examples
increases the prosperity of the
country
. It is mainly because learning in
universities
is related to improving human resources,
therefore
raising a better living population in that
country
is a state obligation too.
However
, the
government
has prioritised the
country
's income distributed to the
education
sector, especially
universities
.
Hence
, it will be a worthwhile investment both for the
country
and society itself.
Moreover
, not everyone has the privilege of a good economic background but has high potential. Tertiary
education
is closely correlated to the cost,
therefore
this
is a social issue
since
Change preposition
of
show examples
the variety of levels of economics in every person.
In addition
,
this
problem would be the main problem that must be resolved by the
government
specifically in developed countries as there are more
people
from
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
economic class than the other.
Hence
, the allocation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income in developed countries should be prioritised in
education
.
To sum up
, I believe that the
government
plays a vital role in
people
going to
universities
because the funding of higher
education
is higher than other educational levels.
Accordingly
, the executive of the
country
should still provide funding to
universities
although
it can not
fully
Add a missing verb
be fully
show examples
as beneficial
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher
education
is essential for human beings and the state.
Submitted by re.li on

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Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and includes an introduction and conclusion, the logical flow could be improved. You should work on strengthening the transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that is elaborated upon.
Task Achievement
Your response addresses the task, but it only partially forms a complete argument. You should aim to fully develop your point of view with consistently relevant examples. Look to provide concrete examples to support your arguments and thereby fully address all parts of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bear the cost
  • tuition fees
  • financial management
  • taxpayer burden
  • public finances
  • allocate resources
  • social inequality
  • socio-economic disparities
  • access to higher education
  • long-term economic benefits
  • educated workforce
  • earning potentials
  • investment vs expense
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