IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Global warming is one of the various climate issues. Discuss the possible causes ad offer measures to control the damage caused.

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In
this
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 day and age, people who live on earth have to face many problems. One of the most serious issues facing the population today is global warming.
This
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 essay will analyse the main roots of global warming and
the
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its
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 effect on our
life
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lives
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.
In addition
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, one solution to
this
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 will be discussed.
To begin
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 with, the root cause of the problem is population explosion. Population growth is growing too quickly, leading to rapidly increasing needs for housing and other necessities for human life. Since
then
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, nature has been exploited beyond the allowable limit. The forest area is rapidly decreasing, replaced by
factories
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, apartment buildings and commercial centres. Reducing the area of ​​green trees leads to an imbalance in the earth's ecosystem. Emissions from
factories
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 and waste from densely populated areas have a negative
impact
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 on the air
environment
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. Densely populated areas have many types of emissions,
such
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 as those from engines of moving equipment. Thermal energy emissions are emitted from the use of electrical appliances in the home which is
also
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 the direct cause of the hole in the ozone layer, causing global warming. The consequence of
this
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 is that the world's temperature will become increasingly hotter, so people will have to use more and more electrical equipment to cool down. More and more heat energy is released, causing the earth's climate to become warmer.
Therefore
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, humans will face even more extreme weather conditions in the future
such
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 as tsunamis
due to
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 melting ice in the North and South Poles. The solution to reducing global warming is for people to be more aware of protecting natural ecosystems. We can start with simple things like protecting the natural habitat of creatures and planting trees to create forests. Limit consumption of processed foods to minimise the operation of
factories
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.
Instead
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, we can eat natural foods
such
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 as fruits and vegetables. On the business side, it is necessary to strictly control and treat waste
into
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in
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 the
environment
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 to minimise the negative
impact
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 on the
environment
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. In summary, humans and activities that
impact
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 the
environment
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 to serve their lives are the main causes leading to increasing global temperatures. The solution to
this
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 problem is to be more aware of environmental protection
such
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 as improving the natural habitat of animals and minimising the
impact
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 of
factories
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 on the
environment
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.

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task achievement
Make sure you fully address all parts of the task. The essay discusses the causes of global warming but only presents one general solution. More specific measures and an in-depth discussion of their potential effectiveness are required to fully satisfy the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear and logical organization throughout the essay. Paragraph structuring is generally good, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using a wider range of cohesive devices could enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overly complex sentences that could detract from the clarity of your main points. Strive for a balance between complex structures and clarity.
task achievement
Provide clear examples to support your main points. The essay would benefit from specific, detailed examples of the causes and solutions of global warming rather than general statements.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and work on sentence structure to improve clarity and accuracy, as this will impact the reader's understanding of your points.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but they could be more powerful by presenting a clearer thesis statement and summarizing the main points more effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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