IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Somr university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belive it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualification.

#somr #university #students #subjects #addition #belive #time #attention #qualification
It is considered
Verb problem
Considered
show examples
 by many that the main purpose of education should be getting certificates
while
 others believe that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third level
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
 would like to gain
knowledge
 about many subjects Though,
Idea
Fix the agreement mistake
Ideas
show examples
 about many subjects enrich
knowledge
. But I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
qualified
students
 can lead a standard and secure
life
.
To begin
 with, the
students
 who
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university have always
intention
Add an article
the intention
an intention
show examples
 to learn many subjects. In
this
 stage of
life
, they have less idea about practical
life
. So, the main goal of a university student is gaining
knowledge
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they get
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 when they debate with people.
For example
, most of the
students
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Dhaka University studying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
BBA At the same time, they have
admitted
Add a missing verb
been admitted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 law
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 to get advantages
on debate
Change preposition
in debating
show examples
 with their fellows.
On the other hand
, it is inevitable that
students
 should be focused not only
enrich
Wrong verb form
on enriching
show examples
knowledge
 but
also
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
. A standard
qualification
 helps a student
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 a standard
life
. Generally, In
this
 competitive era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 would like to get a
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 qualified employee. Most of the recruiting agencies call
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 qualified person. After that interview,
employer
Correct article usage
the employer
show examples
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 to employee a standard amount Of salary.
Thus
, he can lead a smart and secure
life
.
For example
, most of the government
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 in Bangladesh are highly qualified, they get a smart job at the servicing time and
also
 get
pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, the main goal of a student
should
Verb problem
is to
show examples
 get a
qualification
 because it is difficult for people to survive in
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
the competitive
show examples
 world without
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
.
Submitted by modudahmedamzad on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, main body and conclusion, each fulfilling their specific roles.
logical structure
Improve clarity by using a variety of connectives and ensuring each paragraph introduces, elaborates on, and concludes its main idea.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and improve your task response score.
supported main points
Your main points should be supported by relevant and well-developed examples or explanations.
complete response
Address the task directly, ensuring that you answer all parts of the question thoroughly and evenly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for complexity and depth in your ideas to enrich your essay and ensure your response is comprehensive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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