Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?

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In today's time, a growing number of
people
are switching to
alternative
medicine
instead
of traditional one.
This
can happen for several reasons:
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
a response to negative past experiences with doctors, a
disfunctional
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dysfunctional
health system that has long waiting and overworked staff or
for
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apply
show examples
ethical motives.
Although
non-traditional
medicine
can help
people
, it can be dangerous to totally ignore tested and scientifically proven traditional
treatments
.
The traditional
Correct article usage
Traditional
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western
medicine
has been influenced by the
eastern
Capitalize word
Eastern
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"
alternative
" one but
this
is not always negative. A clear example in
this
case can be Chinese
medicine
, where teas or particular types of massages with needles can be used against common problems
such
as period pain,
backache
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and backache
show examples
or to cure frequent headaches.
This
type of
treatments
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treatment
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work
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works
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because even if they are new to us, they have been
practiced
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practised
show examples
and studied for centuries. The same does not apply to omeopatic therapies, they are becoming more and more popular nowadays
although
they are not scientifically proven so there is no
fundation
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foundation
on
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for
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their
acatual
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actual
operation.
This
type of
medicine
is
easly
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easily
accessible to
people
with no medical knowledge and
for
this
reason
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reason,
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it cannot substitute the opinion of an expert. Of course, natural
treatments
exist and can be effective but I think they always have to be discussed with a doctor in order to be safe.
People
do not turn to
alternative
medicine
for no reason. Oftentimes one's
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nation's
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nation
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nation's
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healthcare system is overworked and overcrowded, with infinite waiting lists and doctors
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have little time to take care of their patients because they have
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
to
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too
show examples
many.
Alternative
treatments
are more accessible but I think everyone should focus on finding doctors that they can trust and that know their patients.
Doing
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By doing
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so, you will always have an informed trusted figure to go to in case of need. In conclusion,
alternative
medicine
can be positive to solve certain problems but it should always be accompanied by the opinion of an expert. I think finding a trustworthy doctor is fundamental to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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a healthy life and
to avoid
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avoiding
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searching for therapies alone with zero to little medical knowledge.
Submitted by rizzi.flavia99 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Task response could be improved through a more thorough exploration and development of the essay question. Be sure to fully address all parts of the task, and also consider the implications and broader impact of the trend being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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