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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the water supply system in Australia at present and in the future.

The diagram below shows the water supply system in Australia at present and in the future.
#water #system #australia #future
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The diagram illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
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 supplies
water
Use synonyms
 at present and future plans by three types of
water
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as pure
water
Use synonyms
,
storm
Correct your spelling
stormwater
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water
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
waste
Correct your spelling
wastewater
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water
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
 from the perspective, at present
waste
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 to
connect
Verb problem
apply
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the
river
Use synonyms
 but in
future
Correct article usage
the future
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waste
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 will be purified by the
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
According to the
Change preposition
The
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 diagrams show that
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 connection starts with
dam
Add an article
the dam
a dam
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, pure
water
Use synonyms
is satisfied
Wrong verb form
satisfies
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 the
water
Use synonyms
 needs
in
Change preposition
of
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 four main factors
like
Change preposition
apply
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city, factories,
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 and shops. These four
factor's
Change noun form
factors
show examples
waster
Correct your spelling
water
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water
Use synonyms
 and
storm
Correct your spelling
stormwater
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water
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mixed into the
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
 and
river
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Waste
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 is connected to the
river
Use synonyms
 from the
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
. In future plans of the
water
Use synonyms
 supply
system
Add a comma
system,
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 everything will be the same as present but the
storm
Correct your spelling
stormwater
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water
Use synonyms
ans
Correct your spelling
and
waste
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 will not be mixed into the
river
Use synonyms
Linking Words
besides
Replace the word
beside
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 it will be mixed into the
water
Use synonyms
treatment
Use synonyms
plant
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 will be purified to pure
water
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 people could
be use
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 it.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, waste, river, treatment, plant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 4 times.
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