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Writing Samples /
Band 1

People nowdays send than talk on text messages more frequently the Phone What are the reasons for this trend? Do the advantages of texting outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #nowdays #text #messages #phone #trend
The older technological developments had a lot of benefits and impact on
people
's lives than recent ones. I disagree because nowadays technology more
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 than in the past. The majority of
people
 advocate for early independence for young adults,
while
 others support the idea that children should remain at their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 house for as long as possible. These days some children spend several hours on their smartphones. I think
this
 is a negative development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because everything is connected to
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
 phone. Some
people
embarrassed
Add a missing verb
are embarrassed
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their unhealthy lifestyles. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
people
embarrassed
Add a missing verb
are embarrassed
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their unhealthy lifestyle because they have a lot of duties on their selves
thy
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 pay less attention
on their selves
Correct your spelling
to themselves
show examples
. Many communities are increasingly prioritizing sustainable living and minimizing environmental impact.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provided does not address the given topics coherently. It seems that multiple unrelated statements have been put together, which does not constitute a logical structure or a well-supported argument. There is a need for a clear introduction that presents the topic, followed by coherent paragraphs each developing a single idea that is relevant to the topic, and a concluding paragraph that summarises the arguments presented.
Task Achievement
Task achievement is severely lacking, as the essay does not directly answer the given question about the reasons for the trend of texting more than talking on the phone, nor does it discuss the advantages and disadvantages of texting. To improve, focus on answering all parts of the question directly and provide clear, comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • convenience
  • asynchronous communication
  • non-intrusive
  • social media
  • instant messaging apps
  • misinterpretations
  • emotional nuance
  • immediacy
  • efficiency
  • multitasking
  • relationship building
What to do next:
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