Some people think that the best way to stay fit is by joining a gym, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Undoubtedly, in
this
modern era, everyone want
to become mentally and physically fit by joining Change the verb form
wants
gym
or doing other Add an article
a gym
the gym
activities
. However
, some people believe that best
way to maintain fitness is by joining a Correct article usage
the best
gym
, whereas
others deemed
that regular Wrong verb form
deem
activities
such
as walking or climbing stairs is
more beneficial. In the upcoming Change the verb form
are
paragraphs
I will hash out both aspects and give Add a comma
paragraphs,
logical
conclusion.
On the one hand, several factors are associated with it, but the main benefits of joining Add an article
a logical
the logical
gym
Add an article
a gym
the gym
is
professional guidance and Change the verb form
are
structured
workout. To illustrate, nowadays individuals are suffering from obesity, with Correct article usage
a structured
this
they prefer to join Add a comma
this,
gym
where they can get guidance from professional Add an article
a gym
gym
trainers such
as they can make diet
Add an article
a diet
plan
for others Fix the agreement mistake
plans
as well as
they suggest them sort
of exercises to Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
loss
Replace the word
lose
their
weight and they Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
help the masses in their workout because they will become the member of gym
. Add an article
a gym
the gym
Aprat
from Correct your spelling
Apart
this
, individuals get motivation from others to do exercise
. For instance
, a survey was conducted which concluded that nearly 90 per cent of people join gym
yearly to maintain their body in a particular shape.
Correct article usage
a gym
On the other hand
, there are a number of advantages to do
regular Change the verb form
doing
activities
such
as walking or climbing stairs. The first
and foremost, if folks do everyday Correct article usage
First
exercise
they can get psychological
benefits Correct article usage
the psychological
of
outdoor Change preposition
from
activities
. To explain, they can get high
amount of fresh oxygen and air which Add an article
a high
further
boost
their energy level as well they will not suffer from any health issues. Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
Moreover
, it is also
a convenient method to to
Remove the redundancy
apply
exercise
. Thus
, not only it is convenient, but also
it is cost effective
method because Add a hyphen
cost-effective
it
people join Correct your spelling
if
gym
they have to pay membership Add an article
a gym
cost
and travelling Fix the agreement mistake
costs
cost
. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
While
, if they do everyday exercise
they can save their money from gym
.
Add an article
the gym
To conclude
, although
both helps
to improve Change the verb form
help
the
human health and play a crucial role in our life, Correct article usage
apply
yet
I believe that having a balance between both is Correct word choice
apply
very
essential to maintain in our life.Rephrase
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and that paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Be wary of abrupt sentence subjects or ideas that may disrupt the flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. Ensure the introduction clearly states the topic and your stance, while the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points but make sure to develop them fully. Each paragraph should clearly state the main point, be followed by an explanation, and then supported by specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
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task achievement
Ideas are present but could be articulated more clearly and comprehensively. Clarify your points and expand on them to ensure the reader has a complete understanding of your arguments.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Avoid generalized or vague references and instead use concrete examples that directly support your points.