Some people think that the best way to stay fit us by joining a gym while other think doing everyday exercise such as walking and other is sufficient discuss both views and opinions

Undoubtedly, in
this
modern era, everyone wants to become mentally and physically fit by joining a
gym
or doing other
activities
.
However
, some people believe that the best way to maintain fitness is by joining a
gym
,
whereas
others deem that regular
activities
such
as walking or climbing stairs are more beneficial. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will hash out both aspects and give a logical conclusion. On the one hand, several factors are associated with it, but the main benefits of joining a
gym
are professional guidance and a structured workout. To illustrate, nowadays individuals are suffering from obesity, with
this
, they prefer to join a
gym
where they can get guidance from professional
gym
trainers
such
as they can make
a diet plans
Correct the article-noun agreement
a diet plan
diet plans
show examples
for others
as well as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suggest them sorts of exercises to lose weight and they
also
help the masses in their workout because they will become the member of a
gym
.
Apart from
this
, individuals get motivation from others to do
exercise
.
For instance
, a survey was conducted which concluded that nearly 90 per cent of people join a
gym
yearly to maintain their body in a particular shape.
On the other hand
, there are a number of advantages to doing regular
activities
such
as walking or climbing stairs. First and foremost, if folks do everyday
exercise
they can get the psychological benefits from outdoor
activities
. To explain, they can get a high amount of fresh oxygen and air which
further
boosts their energy level as well they will not suffer from any health issues.
Moreover
, it is
also
a convenient method to
exercise
.
Thus
, not only it is convenient, but
also
it is
cost-effective
Add an article
a cost-effective
show examples
method because if people join a
gym
they have to pay membership costs and travelling costs.
While
, if they do everyday
exercise
they can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money from the
gym
.
To conclude
,
although
both help to improve human health and play a crucial role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, I believe that having a balance between both is essential to maintain in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on

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introduction conclusion presence
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and add value to your essay. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should uniquely summarize your viewpoints without introducing new information.
coherence logical structure
While your essay presents a logical structure, you should focus on creating stronger topic sentences that clearly establish the main idea for each paragraph. Also, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to show the relationships between ideas more precisely.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. These examples should directly reinforce your arguments and be relevant to the question. Avoid making broad statements without backing them with concrete evidence or examples.
complete response
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should cover both sides of the argument comprehensively and end with a clear opinion. You have addressed both views to a satisfactory level, but there's room for deeper exploration of each perspective.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are mostly clear, but they could be expressed more comprehensively. Work on elaborating your points further to convey a thorough understanding of the topic. Consider exploring the implications and nuances of the arguments you present.
relevant specific examples
You've provided some examples, but they could be more specific and directly related to the points you're making. Use relevant illustrations from real-life experiences, studies or known facts to make your essay more persuasive and informative.

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