Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, kids are allowed to learn using
gadget
by their parents. I believe the drawbacks of Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
this
trend outweigh the benefits.
On the one hand, smartphones play important
role in Correct article usage
an important
learning
process as many educational materials Add an article
the learning
available
there. Add a missing verb
are available
For instance
, children
could learn new vocabulary from playing games
and watching videos from streaming platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
such
as youtube
. It is indeed Correct your spelling
YouTube
benefical
for their language skills because Correct your spelling
beneficial
of
Change preposition
apply
the
visualization can help Correct article usage
apply
children
to understand context
of words or phrases. Learning through Add an article
the context
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
also
more joyful as it Add a missing verb
is also
is offer
gamification which could attract the interest of the students.
Wrong verb form
offers
On the other hand
, offsprings
can face an addiction issue of using Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
smarphones
. Correct your spelling
smartphones
In
an early age, Change preposition
At
children
does
not have Change the verb form
do
Correct article usage
the emotinal
emotinal
ability to filter what Correct your spelling
emotional
contents
they consume or what Fix the agreement mistake
content
games
they have been played
. To illustrate Wrong verb form
playing
this
, recently there is
a news about a kid Wrong verb form
was
that
played Correct pronoun usage
who
games
for 48 hours non-stop and that kid shows
anger emotions Wrong verb form
showed
while
the parents try
to take the Wrong verb form
tried
gadget
. It is an indication that in an extrem
way, addiction to Correct your spelling
extreme
gadget
could be Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
problem
in Add an article
a problem
children
development.
In conclusion, even though using Change noun form
children's
gadget
can boost Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
offsprings
skills in learning Change noun form
offspring's
new
language, I believe the disadvantages of Add an article
a new
gadget
addiction could be more dangerous for their development and parent
should always control what Fix the agreement mistake
parents
games
or content are kids consuming.Submitted by ryanrush16 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a clear and logical structure throughout your essay to guide the reader through your points. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, and use appropriate linking words to connect these ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear viewpoint. However, work on your conclusion to ensure it effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with relevant and well-developed examples. While you have presented examples, strive to ensure these are more precisely aligned with your argument and avoid making general statements without concrete support.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task to provide a complete response to the question posed. While you have made an attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, more balance in the discussion would be beneficial.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and understandable to the reader. Avoid general statements and improve the specificity of your examples and arguments for a stronger impact.
task achievement
Include more varied and specific examples to effectively illustrate your points. The example provided could be expanded upon, and additional supporting details could greatly enhance the depth of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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