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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries.

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries.
#consumption #three #foods #wheat #maize #rice #people #four #countries
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The table indicates data related to the number of
people
Use synonyms
consumed
Correct pronoun usage
who consumed
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 three basic foods in Cambodia,
Poland
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,
Egypt
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 and
Mexico
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. Units are measured in calories per person per day (cal/
p
Use synonyms
/d).
Overall
Linking Words
, the major consumptions
are various depend
Wrong verb form
vary depending
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 on the kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crop. The most popular basic
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
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 in Cambodia is Rice
while
Linking Words
 the
consumptions
Change the noun form
consumption
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 rate of Wheat showed high numbers in
Egypt
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data,
people
Use synonyms
 in
Mexico
Use synonyms
 are likely
consume
Add the particle
to consume
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 Maize as their main source of body energy.
People
Use synonyms
 in Cambodia
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
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 to consume Rice at 1445 cal/
p
Use synonyms
/d,
this
Linking Words
 number is higher than rice consumption in
Poland
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,
Egypt
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, and
Mexico
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Wheat
are
Change the verb form
is
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 eaten by major residents in
Egypt
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 and
Poland
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 with Egyptians
has
Wrong verb form
having
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higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 proportion
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 135 cal/
p
Use synonyms
/d gap between these countries. The highest rate of Maize
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
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 is held by
Mexico
Use synonyms
 at 1083 cal/
p
Use synonyms
/d.
In contrast
Linking Words
, no one of
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 in
Poland
Use synonyms
 eats Maize.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, poland, egypt, mexico, p with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • basic foods
  • wheat
  • maize
  • rice
  • countries
  • comparing
  • analyzing
  • trends
  • factors
  • influencing
  • patterns
  • implications
  • health
  • nutrition
  • solutions
  • food security
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