IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries.

The table below shows the consumption of three basic foods (wheat, maize, rice) by people in four different countries.
#consumption #three #foods #wheat #maize #rice #people #four #countries
The table indicates data related to the number of
people
consumed
Correct pronoun usage
who consumed
show examples
 three basic foods in Cambodia,
Poland
,
Egypt
 and
Mexico
. Units are measured in calories per person per day (cal/
p
/d).
Overall
, the major consumptions
are various depend
Wrong verb form
vary depending
show examples
 on the kind of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crop. The most popular basic
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 in Cambodia is Rice
while
 the
consumptions
Change the noun form
consumption
show examples
 rate of Wheat showed high numbers in
Egypt
.
According to
 the data,
people
 in
Mexico
 are likely
consume
Add the particle
to consume
show examples
 Maize as their main source of body energy.
People
 in Cambodia
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
 to consume Rice at 1445 cal/
p
/d,
this
 number is higher than rice consumption in
Poland
,
Egypt
, and
Mexico
.
Moreover
, Wheat
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 eaten by major residents in
Egypt
 and
Poland
 with Egyptians
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 proportion
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 135 cal/
p
/d gap between these countries. The highest rate of Maize
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 is held by
Mexico
 at 1083 cal/
p
/d.
In contrast
, no one of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 in
Poland
 eats Maize.
Submitted by ryanrush16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, poland, egypt, mexico, p with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • basic foods
  • wheat
  • maize
  • rice
  • countries
  • comparing
  • analyzing
  • trends
  • factors
  • influencing
  • patterns
  • implications
  • health
  • nutrition
  • solutions
  • food security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: